"I am perfectly well. I am always well!"
He bent forward, took both her cold hands, and drew her to her feet.
For an instant he chafed her hands almost unconsciously. Then they
walked on a little, Caroline as in a dream.
Suddenly he paused, and catching her hands again more closely, faced
her. There were tears in her eyes just ready to run down her cheeks.
"If you are well, why are you crying?" he asked abruptly. Then
tenderly, "Come, Caroline, be honest with me. Something is wrong, and I
must know what that something is. Don't you realize that I would give
my life itself to be sure that you were happy? Have you the least idea
what you are to me--how much I love you?"
She shook her head; and then she looked up, and her lips smiled for an
instant.
"How should I know these things? You have never told them to me."
"Surely yes," he said.
"Surely no," she answered. "That day you spoke to me just after you
came back from America, you simply dictated to me the fact that you
found you required a wife, and that you considered me a suitable person
for the situation; and your letter at Christmas was just the same
thing."
"I knew I had done some clumsy thing," he said remorsefully. "But
dearest, sweetest heart, you must have known that I love you!"
He unloosened her hands as he spoke, meaning to gather her into his
arms, but she placed those two little hands in protecting fashion
against his heart.
"No. Wait," she said. "It can't be true. Remember what she was to you.
If you are the man I imagine you to be, then you are not one to easily
forget. You--you can't love me if you loved her."
He smiled, but he answered her gravely.
"Since you have apparently studied me and my nature so well, the whole
situation should be clear to you. Other people might doubt, but not
you, Caroline. You were so closely mingled in with that episode, and
you must have realized that when she took herself out of my life
everything appertaining to her faded absolutely into the background.
The way had been prepared for this so thoroughly. You know that evening
I came down here that I was clinging to a last hope, even though I knew
how poor it was. I confess," he said, with a faint smile, "that had we
separated differently, some sentiment might have lingered. It was the
way she did this that swept my heart clean. And yet," he added, "I am
wrong to deny all sentiment. I am her friend--I am glad to be her
friend--and I shall never cease trying to help her to the happiness she
craves for; but I shall never succeed. No one can help her. It is her
destiny to be a disappointment to herself, and to all who have her
interest at heart."
Caroline shivered a little. Her hands had dropped. They were standing
apart now.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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