British -- India -- Fiction; India -- History -- British occupation, 1765-1947 -- Fiction
"There is nothing else possible."
He relinquished her hand at that, giving it back to her, as it were,
with a quiet finality of renunciation that shattered her self-control.
She sank into a chair and hid her face in a vain attempt to conceal
the tears that came in spite of herself.
He stood beside her for several seconds in a heart-broken silence;
then gently touched her arm.
"Honor--Honor, is it really so impossible--as you think? I tell you
plainly I can't understand----"
She uncovered her face and looked up at him.
"Can any one ever understand--this sort of thing? Isn't it a force
outside the control of reason, of even the strongest will?"
"You are right," he answered gravely; and sitting down leaned towards
her, his elbows on the table. "But there remains the fact that sooner
than lose you outright, I am willing to marry you--on any terms. If
you have no hope for yourself, could you not bring yourself to
partially fulfil mine? Will you--in mercy to me--reconsider your
decision?"
She looked up quickly with parted lips; but his raised hand enjoined
silence.
"My suggestion deserves thinking over for a few minutes, if no longer.
And in the meanwhile--" he smiled with a touch of his old humorous
resignation to things in general--"we might do worse than have some
_chota hazri_. What a brute I was to upset you before you had had a
morsel to eat!"
She shook her head, with a faint reflection of his smile.
"I don't want anything to eat."
"Oh yes, you do! I suppose I must set you an example of common-sense
behaviour."
He peeled two bananas with deliberate care, and set one on her plate.
Then he lifted the cosy.
"That tea must be strong by this time; but the water's hot, and you
can doctor it with that. Now--begin."
He himself began upon his banana, and she glanced at him in
astonishment, not untinged with admiration, at his effortless
transition from controlled passion to the commonplaces of everyday
life. They got through the short meal after a fashion; and both were
devoutly thankful when the demands of common-sense had been fulfilled.
Wyndham rose, and lit a cigarette.
"Now, I'll leave you to yourself for five minutes," he announced. "It
is getting late. But before we go for our ride this matter must be
settled once for all." He laid both hands on the table and looked
steadily into her face. "You are the most just-minded woman I know.
Look all round the question before you decide. Try to realise a little
what it will mean for me to give up all hope. In losing you, I lose
everything. There can be no question of any one else for me. Take me
or--leave me, I am _yours_ for the rest of my life."
He turned away to save her from the necessity of answering, and walked
to the far end of the verandah, leaving her alone with the strongest
temptation she had yet experienced--the temptation to trample on her
own imperious love, and to accept this man's selfless devotion in the
hope that it might one day conquer and monopolise her heart.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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