France -- History -- Louis XIII, 1610-1643 -- Fiction
The comedians pushed forward at first as rapidly as the strength of
their horse—resuscitated by a night’s rest in a comfortable stable, and
a generous feed of oats—would allow; it being important to put a good
distance between themselves and the infuriated peasants who had been
repulsed by de Sigognac and the tyrant. They plodded on for more than
two leagues in profound silence, for poor Matamore’s sad fate weighed
heavily upon their hearts, and each one thought, with a shudder, that
the day might come when he too would die, and be buried secretly and in
haste, in some lonely and neglected spot by the roadside, wherever they
chanced to be, and there abandoned by his comrades.
At last Blazius, whose tongue was scarcely ever at rest, save when he
slept, could restrain it no longer, and began to expatiate upon the
mournful theme of which all were thinking, embellishing his discourse
with many apt quotations, apothegms and maxims, of which in his role of
pedant he had an ample store laid up in his memory. The tyrant listened
in silence, but with such a scowling, preoccupied air that Blazius
finally observed it, and broke off his eloquent disquisition abruptly
to inquire what he was cogitating so intently.
“I am thinking about Milo, the celebrated Crotonian,” he replied, “who
killed a bullock with one blow of his fist, and devoured it in a single
day. I always have admired that exploit particularly, and I feel as if
I could do as much myself to-day.”
“But as bad luck will have it,” said Scapin, putting in his oar, “the
bullock is wanting.”
“Yes,” rejoined the tyrant, “I, alas! have only the fist and the
stomach. Oh! thrice happy the ostrich, that, at a pinch, makes a meal
of pebbles, bits of broken glass, shoe-buttons, knife-handles,
belt-buckles, or any such-like delicacies that come in its way, which
the poor, weak, human stomach cannot digest at all. At this moment I
feel capable of swallowing whole that great mass of scenery and
decorations in the chariot yonder. I feel as if I had as big a chasm in
me as the grave I dug this morning for poor Matamore, and as if I never
could get enough to fill it. The ancients were wise old fellows; they
knew what they were about when they instituted the feasts that always
followed their funerals, with abundance of meats and all sorts of good
things to eat, washed down with copious draughts of wine, to the honour
of the dead and the great good of the living. Ah! if we only had the
wherewithal now to follow their illustrious example, and accomplish
worthily that philosophical rite, so admirably calculated to stay the
tears of mourners and raise their drooping spirits.”
“In other words,” said Blazius, “you are hankering after something to
eat. Polyphemus, ogre, Gargantua, monster that you are! you disgust
me.”
“And you,” retorted the tyrant, “I know that you are hankering after
something to drink. Silenus, hogshead, wine-bottle, sponge that you
are! you excite my pity.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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