“No love is folly,” he answered. “But now I see what is possible.
After a wreck one finds the planks loose for a raft.”
“You think that, Charles? A woman finds no planks, as you call them.
Do you think my life can be patched up by planks? Do you know why I
pray for you to go to Tolu?”
“To restore your husband to you.”
“No,” she said. “I’ve been thinking, Charles. I want you to go to Tolu
to restore Captain Cammock’s book. That is the first thing. And to
make you sure that he isn’t--that he wasn’t killed in your service. I
know what you will find at Tolu, Charles. He’s not my husband now. I
see him too clearly. He’s forgotten us all by this time. Oh, you know
he has.”
“One has no right to say that.”
“It’s strange how a ship alters one’s judgments,” she said, with a
little laugh. “I used to be afraid of you. I couldn’t bear----”
“We were in the way,” he answered.
“I was in a dream. A bad dream. Now it’s over.” She shuddered, turning
her head aside.
“No, Olivia. Not that,” he said. “Life isn’t over. I can’t talk to you
as I should. My wound makes me stupid. You don’t know men, Olivia. Men
are selfish, brutal, greedy. You were never told that. You never saw
that side of them. It’s only one side. I’ve no right to talk to you
like this; but I’m your guardian here. Now suppose. Men, even lovers,
aren’t single-natured, like women. Suppose a man saw a woman in his
better moment, saw how beautiful and far above him she was, and loved
her for that moment, truly, before falling back to his old greeds.”
“Love is not like that.”
“We’re talking about life, Olivia. The moment of love was worth while
to both of them.”
“To myself and to my husband?”
“Yes. If you care to put it that way.”
“And now? What now?”
“Now that you know, Olivia, you know that it’s not all greed, any more
than it is all love. You’ve seen a man’s weakness. His sin, even.
You’ve seen the part of him he hid from you. We all have a skeleton to
hide.”
“I’m not to be moved by sophistry, Charles.”
“Ship life tries the nerves, Olivia.”
“Are you pleading for him now, Charles?”
“Olivia, don’t let me hurt you by discussing your husband. But did you
ever realize him?”
“Yes. I suppose I did.”
“He was unlike any man you had ever seen. Ah. Don’t answer. I know you
too well, Olivia. I know all this.”
“It seems a long time ago,” she said coldly. She was pulling a little
arnotto rose to pieces, petal by petal, crushing the petals till her
finger-tips were stained and scented.
“You never realized him, Olivia. I never realized him. I did not know
in Salcombe that day that he is a man with a frightful physical
energy. On shore he could work it off. It’s not easy to say this. But
at sea, in a ship, shut up here, it turned inward. Do you see,
Olivia?”
“Does that excuse a man? That he has a frightful physical energy, and
that it turns inward?”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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