Margaret bowed; words seemed useless. He was only conscious of the
horror of it. He had not been prepared for this. He had sat at meat so
many times with this corpse. He had seen him so often, full of life
and health, going with a laugh to sin, in the pride of the flesh. Now
a little thing, the bite of a fly, no more, had brought him to a death
among strangers, in this low cot in the wilds, with his beauty turned
to horror, and his strength, if anything, a fiery chain upon his soul.
There he lay, under an Indian cotton, gone to his reward so soon.
Margaret had hated him. He shuddered now to think how he had hated
him. Looking at him as he lay there, in all the hideousness of death,
he felt the remorse which a death brings. He felt ashamed, as though
he had struck the corpse by hating him whom it had covered. “It was my
fault,” he said to himself. “It should have been otherwise. One ought
to live with this before one.” He saw where he had acted hastily,
where he had failed. He knew all that he might have done. What moved
him most was the thought that Olivia had loved this man, had loved him
tenderly, and that he, Olivia’s lover had never known his character,
had never guessed what it was in him which was beautiful to her. Now
he would never know. Standing by the side of the corpse, he tasted all
the bitterness of one who has failed to apprehend another, and learns
of his failure too late. Stukeley was dead now, the old life was dead
now. He would to God that he were dead in Stukeley’s place, and that
the old life might be lived again. He would to God that this man’s
passage to death had been made pleasanter. He blamed himself. He was
touched and humbled almost to tears. “If I had only understood,” he
thought, “you would not have cast yourself away thus.” Now he had this
to tell Olivia.
“You were not what I thought, Stukeley,” he murmured aloud, looking
down at the face. “You were not what I thought. You won her love. You
were her chosen.
“My God,” he added to himself, “you won her by that very quality of
certainty which made you cast her aside.” He stood there trying to
create, in his moment of tenderness, fit words with which to tell her,
words which might comfort her, staying in her heart. The words which
came to him seemed blunt and cold. The only help that he could give to
her was to bury this part of her with all reverent and noble rites.
“He was the Governor’s secretary,” said the priest. “He was not here
long. Not long in the country. The vomito takes the new-comers.”
“Ah,” said Margaret, starting. “How well you talk English. Look here.
Come aside here. We must bury him at once?”
“Before the sun,” the priest said, with a shudder.
“Where is the burial ground?”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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