“He was married, Charles,” she said. “You never told me that.”
“Yes, Olivia, he was married.”
“I knew that, Charles. I saw him so clearly. With a woman with a cruel
face. Oh, I knew it. It was generous of you not to tell me. But I knew
all the time.”
Late that night, in the darkened cabin, Olivia leaned upon the
port-sill, looking out over the rudder eddies, as they spun away in
fire rings, brightening and dying. She propped the cushions at her
back, so that she might rest her head. The nightmare of the past was
ashes to her. That evil fire had burned out, as Tolu had burned out.
The past and Tolu lay smouldering together somewhere, beyond Fuerte
there, beyond the Mestizos. The embers lay red there, crusted in ash.
She had come to see clearly in the pain of her sorrow. She saw her
life laid bare and judged. She saw the moral values of things. Great
emotions are our high tides. They brim our natures, as a tide brims
the flood-marks, bringing strangeness out of the sea, wild birds and
amber. She had relics in her hand; rosebuds and a pebble, “feathers
and dust.” The rosebuds had spilled their petals. She looked at them
there, turning them over with her fingers, holding them to the open
port to see them. There was no moon; but the great stars gave the
night a kind of glimmering clearness. The sea heaved silvery with
star-tracks. Fish broke the water to flame. The scutter of a settling
sea-bird made a path of bright scales a few yards from her. She laid
the relics on the port-sill, near the open window. Very gently she
pushed the pebble into the water, leaning forward to see the gleam of
its fall. One by one she pushed the rosebuds over, till they were all
gone too. She watched the petals float away into the wake, chased by
the sea-birds. They were out of sight in a moment, but the gulls mewed
as they quarrelled over them, voices in the darkness, crying in the
air aloft. Olivia leaned there, looking after them, for many minutes.
Then she drew close the window and covered her eyes with her hands.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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