Captains All and OthersJacobs, W. W. (William Wymark)
General
Captains All and Others
Jacobs, W. W. (William Wymark)
England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Humorous stories, English; River life -- Fiction
He breathed thickly, and taking a seat sat with his hands upon his
knees, looking at a fine piece of cold beef which the housekeeper had
just placed upon the table.
“Is Brother Clark well?” inquired the jeweller, placing a chair for him
at the table and taking up his carving-knife.
“Dear Brother Clark is in excellent 'ealth, I thank you,” said the
other, taking the proffered chair. “Oh! what a man he is; what a
instrument for good. Always stretching out them blessed hands of 'is to
make one of the fallen a Seventh Day Primitive.”
“And success attends his efforts?” said the jeweller.
“Success, Brother!” repeated Mr. Burge, eating rapidly and gesticulating
with his knife. “Success ain't no name for it. Why, since this day last
week he has saved three pick-pockets, two Salvationists, one bigamist
and a Roman Catholic.”
Brother Higgs murmured his admiration. “You are also a power for good,”
he said wistfully. “Brother Clark tells me in his letter that your
exhortations have been abundantly blessed.”
Mr. Burge shook his head. “A lot of it falls by the wayside,” he said
modestly, “but some of it is an eye-opener to them as don't entirely
shut their ears. Only the day before yesterday I 'ad two jemmies and a
dark lantern sent me with a letter saying as 'ow the owner had no
further use for 'em.”
The jeweller's eyes glistened with admiration not quite untinged with
envy. “Have you expounded the Word for long?” he inquired.
“Six months,” replied the other. “It come to me quite natural—I was on
the penitent bench on the Saturday, and the Wednesday afterwards I
preached as good a sermon as ever I've preached in my life. Brother
Clark said it took 'is breath away.”
“And he's a judge too,” said the admiring jeweller.
“Now,” continued Brother Burge, helping himself plentifully to pickled
walnuts. “Now there ain't standing room in our Bethel when I'm
expounding. People come to hear me from all parts—old and young—rich and
poor—and the Apostles that don't come early 'ave to stand outside and
catch the crumbs I throw 'em through the winders.”
“It is enough,” sighed Brother Higgs, whose own audience was frequently
content to be on the wrong side of the window, “it is enough to make a
man vain.”
“I struggle against it, Brother,” said Mr. Burge, passing his cup up for
some more tea. “I fight against it hard, but once the Evil One was
almost too much for me; and in spite of myself, and knowing besides that
it was a plot of 'is, I nearly felt uplifted.”
Brother Higgs, passing him some more beef, pressed for details.
“He sent me two policemen,” replied the other, scowling darkly at the
meanness of the trick. “One I might 'ave stood, but two come to being
pretty near too much for me. They sat under me while I gave 'em the Word
'ot and strong, and the feeling I had standing up there and telling
policemen what they ought to do I shall never forget.”
“But why should policemen make you proud?” asked his puzzled listener.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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