Captains All and OthersJacobs, W. W. (William Wymark)
General
Captains All and Others
Jacobs, W. W. (William Wymark)
England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Humorous stories, English; River life -- Fiction
Mr. Higgs paid no heed. He sat marvelling over the fatuousness of
Brother Clark and trying to think of ways and means out of the dilemma
into which that gentleman's perverted enthusiasm had placed him. He
wondered whether it would be possible to induce Brother Burge to sleep
elsewhere by offering to bear his hotel expenses, and at last, after
some hesitation, broached the subject.
“What!” exclaimed the other, pushing his plate from him and regarding
him with great severity. “Go and sleep at a hotel? After Brother Clark
has been and took all this trouble? Why, I wouldn't think of doing such
a thing.”
“Brother Clark has no right to expose you to such a trial,” said Mr.
Higgs with great warmth.
“I wonder what he'd say if he 'eard you,” remarked Mr. Burge sternly.
“After his going and making all these arrangements, for you to try and
go and upset 'em. To ask _me_ to shun the fight like a coward; to ask
me to go and hide in the rear-ranks in a hotel with everything locked
up, or a coffee pallis with nothing to steal.”
“I should sleep far more comfortably if I knew that you were not
undergoing this tremendous strain,” said the unhappy Mr. Higgs, “and
besides that, if you did give way, it would be a serious business for
me—that's what I want you to look at. I am afraid that if—if unhappily
you did fall, I couldn't prevent you.”
“I'm sure you couldn't,” said the other cordially. “That's the beauty of
it; that's when the Evil One's whispers get louder and louder. Why, I
could choke you between my finger and thumb. If unfortunately my fallen
nature should be too strong for me, don't interfere whatever you do. I
mightn't be myself.”
Mr. Higgs rose and faced him gasping.
“Not even—call for—the police—I suppose,” he jerked out.
“That would be interfering,” said Brother Burge coldly.
The jeweller tried to think. It was past eleven. The housekeeper had
gone to spend the night with an ailing sister, and a furtive glance at
Brother Burge's small shifty eyes and fat unwholesome face was
sufficient to deter him from leaving him alone with his property, while
he went to ask the police to give an eye to his house for the night.
Besides, it was more than probable that Mr. Burge would decline to allow
such a proceeding. With a growing sense of his peril he resolved to try
flattery.
“It was a great thing for the Brethren to secure a man like you,” he
said.
“I never thought they'd ha' done it,” said Mr. Burge frankly. “I've 'ad
all sorts trying to convert me; crying over me and praying over me. I
remember the first dear good man that called me a lorst lamb. He didn't
say anything else for a month.”
“So upset,” hazarded the jeweller.
“I broke his jor, pore feller,” said Brother Burge, a sad but withal
indulgent smile lighting up his face at the vagaries of his former
career. “What time do you go to bed, Brother?”
“Any time,” said the other reluctantly. “I suppose you are tired with
your journey?”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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