Captains All and OthersJacobs, W. W. (William Wymark)
General
Captains All and Others
Jacobs, W. W. (William Wymark)
England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Humorous stories, English; River life -- Fiction
A diffidence, natural in the circumstances, prevented him from narrating
the story of his temptation to the magistrates next morning, and Mr.
Higgs was equally reticent. He was put back while the police
communicated with London, and in the meantime Brother Clark and a band
of Apostles flocked down to his support.
On his second appearance before the magistrates he was confronted with
his past; and his past to the great astonishment of the Brethren being
free from all blemish with the solitary exception of fourteen days for
stealing milk-cans, he was discharged with a caution. The disillusioned
Primitive Apostles also gave him his freedom.
THE MADNESS OF MR. LISTER
Old Jem Lister, of the _Susannah_, was possessed of two devils—the
love of strong drink and avarice—and the only thing the twain had in
common was to get a drink without paying for it. When Mr. Lister paid
for a drink, the demon of avarice masquerading as conscience preached
a teetotal lecture, and when he showed signs of profiting by it, the
demon of drink would send him hanging round public-house doors cadging
for drinks in a way which his shipmates regarded as a slur upon the
entire ship's company. Many a healthy thirst reared on salt beef and
tickled with strong tobacco had been spoiled by the sight of Mr. Lister
standing by the entrance, with a propitiatory smile, waiting to be
invited in to share it, and on one occasion they had even seen him
(him, Jem Lister, A.B.) holding a horse's head, with ulterior motives.
It was pointed out to Mr. Lister at last that his conduct was reflecting
discredit upon men who were fully able to look after themselves in that
direction, without having any additional burden thrust upon them. Bill
Henshaw was the spokesman, and on the score of violence (miscalled
firmness) his remarks left little to be desired. On the score of
profanity, Bill might recall with pride that in the opinion of his
fellows he had left nothing unsaid.
“You ought to ha' been a member o' Parliament, Bill,” said Harry Lea,
when he had finished.
“It wants money,” said Henshaw, shaking his head.
Mr. Lister laughed, a senile laugh, but not lacking in venom.
“That's what we've got to say,” said Henshaw, turning upon him suddenly.
“If there's anything I hate in this world, it's a drinking miser. You
know our opinion, and the best thing you can do is to turn over a new
leaf now.”
“Take us all in to the _Goat and Compasses_,” urged Lea; “bring out some
o' those sovrins you've been hoarding.”
Mr. Lister gazed at him with frigid scorn, and finding that the
conversation still seemed to centre round his unworthy person, went up
on deck and sat glowering over the insults which had been heaped upon
him. His futile wrath when Bill dogged his footsteps ashore next day and
revealed his character to a bibulous individual whom he had almost
persuaded to be a Christian—from his point of view—bordered upon the
maudlin, and he wandered back to the ship, wild-eyed and dry of throat.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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