Capturing a Locomotive: A History of Secret Service in the Late War.Pittenger, William
History
Capturing a Locomotive: A History of Secret Service in the Late War.
Pittenger, William
Chattanooga Railroad Expedition, 1862; United States -- History -- Civil War, 1861-1865 -- Campaigns
so long an imprisonment was due to our systematic and diversified
employments.
This careful division of time, and endeavor after constant employment,
was, doubtless, of great advantage, but it could not change the fact
that we were close prisoners in a stifling room, and far from our home.
Those summer days, as month after month glided away, were terribly long
and oppressive. The tediousness and vain longing for action pressed upon
us more and more closely. We fought the dreadful weight with all the
strength of our wills, but even will-power grew feebler. The engineer
Brown, who was one of the most restless of mortals, all nerve and fire
in action, capable of enduring tremendous hardship if it were only of an
active character, would pace the floor back and forth like a caged
tiger; when this, too, grew unendurable, he would stop at the door,
shake its woven iron bars till they rang again, and say in the most
piteous tones (of course, meant only for _us_ to hear), "Oh, kind sir,
please let me out! I want to go home!" The feeling he expressed was
shared by all. Never before could I realize the full value of liberty
and the horror of confinement. In previous prisons the novelty of our
situation, the frequent removals, the painful excitement of trials,
prevented the blank monotony of imprisonment from settling down upon us
as it did here, after the first few weeks of our stay in Atlanta rolled
by, and no whisper regarding our probable fate reached us. It was like
the stillness and death that brood over the Dead Sea!
We would sit at the windows in the sultry noon and look out through the
bars at the free birds as they flew past, seemingly so full of joyous
life, and foolishly wish that we were birds, that we, too, might fly far
away and be free.
At long intervals, two of us at a time would be permitted to go down
into the jail-yard to do some washing for ourselves and the party. This
great privilege came round to me at last. It was then three months since
I had stepped out of that prison room, and the unobscured vision of open
air and sky made it seem like another world. I remember looking up at
the snowy clouds, my eyes dazzled by the unusual light, and wondering,
as I gazed in admiration upon their beautiful and changing forms,
whether beyond them lay a world of rest in which there were neither wars
nor prisons. Oh, how I longed for freedom! to be where I could look up
at the sky every day and go where I wished! Yet with the thought came a
great fear. If I was ever removed from the pressure of immediate danger,
and allowed to mingle in the interests and cares of the thronging world,
might I not forget my prison-made vows and lose my claim to the world
beyond the clouds and stars? Such a sense of weakness and helplessness
came over me that I felt greatly relieved when, my task being done, I
was conducted back to the dark and narrow prison room, where the
contrast between freedom and bondage was less palpable!
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