England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction
That evening Cara sat solitary after dinner, the pretty silver lamp
lighted, with its white moon-orb of light upon the table by her; the
fire burning just bright enough for company, for it still was not cold.
She had said, timidly, ‘Shall you come upstairs this evening, papa?’ and
had received a mildly evasive answer, and she thought about nine o’clock
that she heard the hall door shut, just as John came into the room with
tea. She thought the man looked at her compassionately, but she would
not question him. The room looked very pretty in the fire, light and
lamplight, with the little tray gleaming in all its brightness of china
and silver, and the little white figure seated by the fire; but it was
very lonely. She took up a book a little more interesting than the one
which had been her first resource, but presently let it drop on her knee
wondering and asking herself would Oswald come? Perhaps he had
forgotten; perhaps he had noticed her shrink when he went away, and,
meaning nothing by his gesture, did not know why she had retreated from
him--perhaps----. But who could tell what might have stopped him? A boy
was not like a girl--he might have been asked somewhere. He might have
gone to the theatre. Perhaps he had a club, and was there among his
friends. All this passed through her head as she sat with the book in
her hand, holding it open on her knee. Then she began to read, and
forgot for the minute; then suddenly the book dropped again, and she
thought, with a sort of childish longing, of what might be going on next
door, just on the other side of the wall, where everything was sure to
be so cheerful. If she could only pierce that unkindly wall, and see
through! That made her think of Pyramus and Thisbe, and she smiled, but
soon grew grave again. Was this how she was to go on living--lonely all
the evening through, her father seeking society somewhere else, she
could not tell where. She thought of the drawing-room at the Hill, and
her eyes grew wet; how they would miss her there! and here nobody wanted
Cara. Her father, perhaps, might think it right that his child should
live under his roof; but that was all he cared apparently; and was it to
be always thus, and never change? At seventeen it is so natural to think
that everything that is, is unalterable and will never change. Then
Cara, with a gulp, and a determination to be as happy as she could in
the terrible circumstances, and above all, to shun Oswald, who had not
kept his word, opened her book again, and this time got into the story,
which had been prefaced by various interludes of philosophising, and
remembered no more till nurse came to inquire if she did not mean to go
to bed to-night. So the evening did not hang so heavy on her hands as
she thought.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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