England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction
To sit down in your morning clothes, painfully conscious of a blue tie
with a pin it, at a decorous dinner-table with three men in correct
evening dress, and two ladies--not indeed bare-shouldered according to
ancient use, but yet arrayed in all the niceties of that demi-toilette
which is the despair of the vulgar--is in itself no small trial to a
sensitive and thin-skinned youth. Roger Burchell had not been able to
resist the spell which Mrs. Meredith exercised upon everybody who came
near her, nor had he been able to count the cost of that evening spent
in Cara’s society, and to strike a balance between the pain it would
cause him and the pleasure to be procured from it. He was not calm
enough to do this. He had not thought of any pain involved, but snatched
at the chance of carrying out his hopes and spending the evening in her
society without thinking of any results. To be sure, instinctive dislike
and repugnance had moved him at the first sight of the two young men.
What did they want here? What had Cara to do with them? But that was
all; and he had not realised how hard it would be to sit by and see
these natural enemies so much nearer and more intimate with Cara than
himself, linked to her by ties even of older friendship than he could
boast of, poor fellow. All this was unthought-of misery. It was true
that after the Merediths went away in the short interval before dinner
he had half-an-hour with Cara by herself--but she asked him questions
about his aunt and about his little sisters, showing no interest in
himself, and at last begged him to excuse her, as she must get ready for
dinner. Even then he did not know how dark his fate was to be; but he
could not get ready for dinner. He looked at himself in the glass, and
at his blue tie which he had thought so well of in the morning. The best
that anyone could say for poor Roger was that he looked like a
respectable mechanic in his Sunday costume, and a consciousness of this
fact impressed itself upon his own mind for the first time. Yes--the
long glass in the glimmering half-lighted drawing-room showed him his
own image as no glass at home had ever done--like an engineer in his
Sunday clothes, one of his practical ‘mates’ in the workshop, who showed
him how to make boilers and screws, and asked him for beer--exactly like
one of them. While this latter thought was in his mind, Cara came softly
into the room in her white dress, the most perfect dainty creature,
tearing poor Roger’s heart in two. How unlike she was to himself in his
blue tie! he felt as if he could never leave her, and yet wished himself
with his aunt in Notting Hill; for what had he to do here?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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