England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction
‘It is a very pleasant one, at least,’ he said, smiling at her--with a
smile which from the time of his baby naughtiness had always subdued his
mother--and he lighted her candle, and stooped with filial grace to kiss
her cheek. ‘Good-night, mother, and don’t trouble about me. I am very
happy,’ he said, with a half-laugh at his own cleverness in carrying on
this delusion. Oswald thought a great deal of his own cleverness. It was
a pleasant subject to him. He stood for some time after his mother was
gone, looking down into the waning fire, and smiling to himself. He
enjoyed the idea reflected from their minds that he was an accepted
lover, a happy man betrothed and enjoying the first sweetness of love.
He had not said so; he had done nothing, so far as he was aware, to
originate such a notion; but it rather amused and flattered him now that
they had of themselves quite gratuitously started it. As for Cara
herself being displeased or annoyed by it, that did not occur to him.
She was only just a girl, not a person of dignity, and there could be no
injury to her in such a report. Besides, it was not his doing; he was
noway to blame. Poor dear little Cara! if it did come to that, a man was
not much to be pitied who had Cara to fall back upon at the last.
Thus he stood musing, with that conscious smile on his face, now and
then casting a glance at himself in the mirror over the mantelpiece. He
was not thinking of his brother, who sat behind with the same book in
his hands that he had been pretending to read all the evening. Edward
rose when his mother was gone, and came up to the fire. He was no master
of words befitting the occasion; he wanted to say something, and he did
not know what to say. His elder brother, the most popular of the two--he
who was always a little in advance of Edward in everything, admired and
beloved and thought of as Edward had never been--how was the younger,
less brilliant, less considered brother to say anything to him that bore
the character of advice? And yet Edward’s heart ached to do so; to tell
the truth, his heart ached for more than this. It had seemed to him that
Cara confided in himself, believed in his affectionate sympathy more
than she did in Oswald’s; and to see Oswald in the triumphant position
of avowed lover, as they all thought him to be, was gall and bitterness
to the poor young fellow, in whose heart for all these years a warm
recollection of Cara had been smouldering. He was the poor man whose
ewelamb his rich brother had taken, and the pang of surprised distress
in his soul was all the bitterer for that consciousness which never
quite left his mind, that Oswald was always the one preferred. But
Edward, though he felt this, was not of an envious nature, and was
rather sad for himself than resentful of his brother’s happiness. He
went up to him, dragged by his tender heart much against the resistance
of his will, feeling that he too must say something. He laid his hand,
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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