England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction
He turned as he spoke to walk with her, and what could Agnes do? She
could not refuse to answer him, or show any prudery. He evidently (she
said to herself) thought nothing of it; why should she appear to demur
to anything so simple? Give a report about a suffering child? Anyone
might do that--to anyone. And she told him that Emmy was making
satisfactory progress, though she had been feverish and ill. ‘I was a
little frightened, though the nurse said it was nothing. She wandered,
and spoke so strangely for a little while. Poor little Emmy! She had a
beautiful dream, and thought herself in heaven.’
‘While you were there?’ said Oswald, with a significance in the simple
question which covered her face with a sudden blush. Then she blushed
deeper still to think what foolish, unpardonable vanity this was--vanity
the most extraordinary, the most silly! What he meant, _of course_, was
a simple question, most natural--an inquiry about a fact, not any wicked
compliment. How Agnes hated and despised herself for the warm suffusion
of shy pleasure which she had felt in her heart and on her face!
‘Yes,’ she said, demurely; ‘but she soon roused up and came quite to
herself. She had been in great pain, and they had given her something to
deaden it, that was all.’
‘I quite understand,’ he said, with again that appearance of meaning
more than he said. No doubt it was merely his way; and it was
embarrassing, but not so disagreeable as perhaps it ought to have been.
Agnes kept her head down, and slightly turned away, so that this
stranger could not see the inappropriate blushes which came and went
under the bonnet of the Sisterhood. Then there was a pause; and she
wondered within herself whether it would be best to turn down a
cross-street and feign an errand, which would take her out of the
straight road to the ‘House’--evidently that was _his_ way--and by this
means she might escape his close attendance. But then, to invent a
fictitious errand would be unquestionably wrong; whereas, to allow a
gentleman whom she did not know to walk along the public pavement, to
which everybody had an equal right, by her side, was only
problematically wrong. Thus Agnes hesitated, in a flutter, between two
courses. So long as they were not talking it seemed more simple that he
should be walking the same way.
‘What a strange world a hospital must be,’ he said. ‘I have been
watching the people coming out’ (‘Then he was not late, after all,’
Agnes remarked to herself), ‘some of them pleased, some anxious, but the
most part indifferent. Indifference always carries the day. Is that why
the world goes on so steadily, whatever happens? Here and there is one
who shows some feeling----’
‘It is because the greater part of the patients are not very ill,’ said
Agnes, responding instantly to this challenge. ‘Oh, no, people are not
indifferent. I know that is what is said--that we eat our dinners in
spite of everything----’
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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