England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction
‘But it is to a girl,’ said Cara, very gravely, and she became so
absorbed in the arrangement of her crocuses, setting them in the green
moss, which had packed them, that he yielded to her preoccupation, being
one of the persons who cannot be content without the entire attention of
anyone to whom they address themselves. He did not make out how it was
that he had failed with Cara on this special morning, but he felt the
failure, and it annoyed him. For the first time he had lost her
interest. Was it that she did not like his devotion to Agnes to go so
far, that she felt the disadvantage of losing him? This idea excited and
exhilarated Oswald, who liked to be first with everybody. Poor Cara, if
it was so! he was very sorry for her. If she had shown any inclination
to accept him, he would have been very willing to prove to her that he
had not given her up, notwithstanding his love for the other; but she
would not pay any attention to his overtures, and nothing was left for
him but to go away.
Cara’s whole frame seemed to tingle with her blushing, her fancy fled
from the subject thrust upon her attention even when excitement brought
her back to it and whispered it again in her ears. Her father! Never
since the scene which she had witnessed in her mother’s sick room, had
Cara felt a child’s happy confidence in her father. She had never
analysed her sentiments towards him, but there had been a half-conscious
shrinking, a sense as of something unexplained that lay between them.
She had gone over that scene a hundred times and a hundred to that,
roused to its importance only after it was over. What had been the
meaning of it? never to this day had she been quite able to make up her
mind, nobody had talked to her of her mother’s death. Instead of those
lingerings upon the sad details, upon the last words, upon all the
circumstances which preceded that catastrophe, which are usual in such
circumstances, there had been a hush of everything, which had driven the
subject back upon her mind, and made her dwell upon it doubly. Time had
a little effaced the impression, but the return to the Square had
brought it back again in greater force, and in those lonely hours which
the girl had spent there at first, left to her own resources, many a
perplexed and perplexing fancy had crowded her mind. The new life,
however, which had set in later, the companionship, the gentle gaieties,
the new sentiment, altogether strange and wonderful, which had arisen in
her young bosom, had quietly pushed forth all painful thoughts. But now,
with the pang of parting already in her heart, and the sense, so easily
taken up at her years and so tragically felt, that life never could
again be what it had been--a certain pang of opposition to her father
had come into Cara’s mind. Going away!--to break her heart and alter
her life because he would not bear the associations of his home! was a
man thus, after having all that was good in existence himself, to
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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