England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction
Neither of them knew how long they sat there, while Agnes on her throne
listened--trembling, blushing, weeping, hiding soft gleams of
sympathetic looks, keeping back kindred confessions that stole to her
own lips. She heard the story of Oswald’s love. It did not lose in the
telling, and yet it was true. Though his poetry was not of a very
elevated kind, as the reader knows, it gave him a command of words, it
gave him skill enough to know how that story should be told. He paused
for no instant reply, but went through the record from beginning to end.
Never had the girl heard such a tale. Romance, even in books, was little
known to her; she had been brought up upon matters of fact; and lo, here
was a romance of her own, poetry living and breathing, stealing the very
heart out of Agnes’s bosom. She resisted as long as she could, hiding
her tears, hiding the quivering of her mouth, keeping her eyes down that
no chance look might betray her, marshalling all her forces to do battle
against this subtle influence. After all, those forces were not great;
devotion to her work--but, alas, for weeks past the insidious foe had
been undermining her walls, whispering of other duties more natural,
more gracious, pointing out all the defects in that work to eyes which
could not refuse to see them: regard for the prejudices of conventional
life, the want of proper introduction, &c., a formidable horror to the
girl’s inexperienced mind, and yet with no real force in it, for had not
she, too, broken the bonds of society? Eventually the strength ebbed
away from her as she listened. Last of all her routed forces took refuge
in the last yet frailest citadel of all--her dress. It was that, too,
that Oswald had thought of. In the absence of all real objections to
this mutual understanding, this little barrier of _chiffons_ erected
itself. How could she in that garb of self-sacrifice choose personal
happiness, her own way, and all the brightnesses instead of all the
sadnesses of existence? This thought gave her a little temporary
strength.
‘Agnes,’ he said, with agitation, ‘those wretched children are coming
back again. I must go away unless you will acknowledge and receive me.
Agnes! think; can all this go for nothing, all this chapter in our
lives? Can it end and be as if it had not been! Oh, look at me! Speak to
me! Don’t say no with your voice. I will not believe it. Let me see your
face----’
She turned to him slowly, her mouth quivering, flashes of flying colour
going and coming, her eyelids--which she could not lift--heavy with
tears, every line in her face moving and eloquent with feeling. ‘What
can I say?’--her voice was so low and hurried that he had to bend
forward to hear her--‘in this place, in this dress. Is it right? Oh, why
should you ask me? What can I say----?’
‘Look at me, Agnes!’
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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