IV. Thesis Rhinosophica. “Our Noses, and What to do with them.” Francisca Filix Parton, Iacobi Uxor. V. Disquisitio Linguistica. “Hebrew Roots, with a plan of a new Grubbarium.” Guilielmus Watson Goodwin. VI. Poema. “The Pacific Woman.” Franciscus Bret Harte. VII. Oratio Historica. “The Ideal New York Alderman.” Iacobus Parton. Exercitationibus litterariis ad finem perductis, gradus honorarii Praesidis auspiciis augustissimis rite conferentur. Mercurii Typis I remember how I myself distrusted this particular project, which was wholly hers. When she began to plan out the “parts” in advance,—the Rev. Mr. Brooks, the foremost of German translators, with his Teutonic themes; the agricultural Waring with his potatoes; Harte on Pacific women; Parton with his New York aldermen, and I myself with two recent papers mingled in one,—I ventured to remonstrate. “They will not write these Commencement orations,” I said. “Then I will write them,” responded Mrs. Howe, firmly. “They will not deliver them,” I said. “Then I will deliver them,” she replied; and so, in some cases, she practically did. She and I presided, dividing between us the two parts of Professor Goodwin’s Oxford gown for our official adornment, to enforce the dignity of the occasion, and the _Societas Urbanoruralis_, or Town and Country Club, proved equal to the occasion. An essay on “rhinosophy” was given by “Fanny Fern” (Mrs. Parton), which was illustrated on the blackboard by this equation, written slowly by Mrs. Howe and read impressively:— “Nose + nose + nose = proboscis Nose - nose - nose = snub.” She also sang a song occasionally, and once called up a class for recitations from Mother Goose in six different languages; Professor Goodwin beginning with a Greek version of “The Man in the Moon,” and another Harvard man (now Dr. Gorham Bacon) following up with “Heu! iter didilum Felis cum fidulum Vacca transiluit lunam. Caniculus ridet Quum talem videt Et dish ambulavit cum spoonam.” The question being asked by Mrs. Howe whether this last line was in strict accordance with grammar, the scholar gave the following rule: “The conditions of grammar should always give way to exigencies of rhyme.” In conclusion, two young girls, Annie Bigelow and Mariana Mott, were called forward to receive graduate degrees for law and medicine; the former’s announcement coming in this simple form: “Annie Bigelow, my little lamb, I welcome you to a long career at the ba-a.”