American fiction -- 20th century; Short stories, American
“Well, when I left, the thing I wanted to do was go to school. Uncle
Ezra hadn't given me time to go to school much. But I tramped to a
town where there was a little fresh-water college that had its own prep
school attached, and I did the whole seven years of prep school and
college in five years. You see, I had a lot of bounce in me. The minute
I got away from Uncle Ezra the whole world brightened up for me. The
clouds rolled by and life looked like one grand long joke, and I turned
into a kid. I romped through that prep school and that college, and made
my own living while I was doing it, and laughed all the time and loved
the world and everything in it, and it came as easy to me as water comes
to a duck. I came on down here to New York and was lucky enough to get a
chance as a reporter, and I've been romping ever since.
“I don't want to do anything but romp. Of course, I want to write some
good stuff some day, but I want to keep romping while I write it, and I
want it to be stuff that has a romp in it, too. You say I romp so much
I'm never serious. Well, I do have some serious moments, too. I have
a dream that keeps coming to me. I dream that I'm back in that little
town, and that I'm Uncle Ezra's slave again, and that I can't get away.
“Sometimes the dream takes the form of Uncle Ezra coming here to New
York to get me, and I know that I've got to go back with him to that
place, and I wake up sweating and crying like an eight-year-old kid. If
he ever really came it would put a crimp into me, Jack.
“You say I'm a butterfly. And I say, yes, Jack, thank God I am! I used
to be a grubworm, and now I'm a butterfly, praise heaven!
“Well, that's the guy I hold the grudge against, and that's why I'm fool
enough to rush into every pleasure I can find. I don't know that I'll
ever change. And as for the man, I don't ever want to see him. I don't
know that I'd ever do anything to him if I did--beat him to death with
a butterfly's wing, or blow him up with a soap bubble, as you suggested.
Let him alone. He'll punish himself. He is punished by being what he is.
I wouldn't put a breath into the scale one way or the other--not even a
puff of cigarette smoke.”
He blew a breath of cigarette smoke luxuriously out of his nose as he
finished, and then he remarked, “Let's go somewhere and dance.”
“Nazimova is doing Ibsen uptown,” suggested Jack, “and I have a couple
of tickets. Let's go and see Ibsen lb a little.”
“Nope,” said Tommy. “Ibsen's got too much sense. I want something silly.
Me for a cabaret, or some kind of a hop garden.”
V
But sometimes in this ironical world it happens that we have already
beaten a man to death with a butterfly's wing, slain him with a bubble,
sent him whirling into the hereafter on a puff of smoke, even as we are
saying that such a thing is foreign to our thoughts.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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