American fiction -- 20th century; Short stories, American
“See here,” said the night clerk, appraising him, as the day clerk had
done, as a rube who had been seldom to the city and was nervous about
fire, “you don't need to be worried. If anything should happen near here
we'd get all the guests out in a jiffy.”
The old party returned to his room. He was up early the next morning and
down to breakfast before the dining room was open.
He did not look as if he had had much rest. The morning hours he devoted
to reading his Bible in his room. Perhaps he found comfort in it. At
noon he seemed a bit more cheerful. He asked the clerk the way to the
Eden Musee, and was surprised to learn that that place of amusement had
been closed for a year or two. The clerk recommended a moving-picture
house round the corner. But it had begun to rain and snow and sleet
all together; the sky was dark and the wind was rising; the old party
elected not to go out after all.
He went back to his room once more, and his black fear and melancholy
descended upon him again, and the old debate began to weave through his
brain anew. For two weeks he had been fleeing from the debate and from
himself. He had come to New York to get away from it, but it was no
good. Just when he had made up his mind that God had forgiven him, and
was experiencing a momentary respite, some new doubt would assail him
and the agony would begin again.
The old debate--he had burned the store, with the living quarters over
it, to get the insurance money, after having removed a part of the
insured goods, but he did not regard that as an overwhelming sin. It
wasn't right, of course, in one way. And yet in another way it was
merely sharp business practice, so he told himself. For a year before
that, when one of his buildings had burned through accident, he had been
forced to accept from the same insurance company less than was actually
due him as a matter of equity. Therefore, to make money out of that
company by a shrewd trick was in a way merely to get back his own again.
It wasn't the sort of thing that a deacon in the church would care to
have found out on him, of course. It was wrong in a sense. But it was
the wrong that it had led to that worried him.
It was the old woman's death that worried him. He hadn't meant to burn
her to death, God knows! He hadn't known she was in the building.
He had sent her on a week's visit to another town, to see a surprised
cousin of his own, and it had been distinctly understood that she was
not to return until Saturday. But some time on Friday evening she must
have crept back home and gone to bed in her room. He had not known she
was there.
“I didn't know! I didn't know!”
There were times when he gibbered the words to himself by the hour.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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