American fiction -- 20th century; Short stories, American
So after I eat I don't want to go to bed and I gets a box of the
perfessor's cigars and goes into the library and thinks I'll see if he's
got anything fit to read. I dig around for a while among them shelves,
and most everything is one brand of science or other, but finally I got
hold of a little book that was real interesting. That was the damndest
book! It was all in rhyme, with the explanations of the rhyme printed in
real talk down the sides so as you could tell where you was at and what
it was about. It's about an Ancient Mariner. The nut that wrote it he's
never been sailing none, I bet; but he can make you feel like you been
going against the hop in one of them Chink joints. Of course, there
ain't nothing real literary about it like one of them Marie Corelli
stories I read once and it ain't got the excitement of a good Bill Hart
movie or a Nick Carter story, but I got real interested in it. The I-man
of that story he was a Jonah to the whole ship. He seen an albatross
circling around, and he up with his air gun and give him his'n. It
wasn't for nothing to eat, but just to be a-shooting. And from that on
everybody gets as sick of living as a bunch of Chicago factory hands
when another savings bank busts, and they all falls down and curses him.
And the snakes wiggles all over the top of the water like I seen 'em one
time when they cleaned out a reservoir where one of them prairie towns
gets its drinking water from. And the Ancient Mariner he tries to die
and can't make it; and their ghosts is whizzing all around that ship and
they go by him in the moonlight like a puff of steam goes by you on a
frosty morning out of an engine-room manhole. And there's a moral to
that story, too. I bet the fellow that doped that out had been on an
awful bat. I like to of talked with that nut. They was a fellow named
Looney Hogan use to have them phoney hunches, and he use to tell me what
he saw after he had 'em. Looney was awful good company and I use to like
to hear him tell what he seen and what he thinks he seen, but he walked
off of a grain barge up to Duluth when he was asleep one night and he
never did wake up.
Sitting there thinking of the awful remarkable things that is, and the
ones that isn't, and the ones that maybe is and maybe isn't, and the
nuts that is phoney about some things and not about others, and how two
guys can look at the same thing and when you ask them about it both has
seen different things, I must a-went to sleep. And I must a-slept a long
time there, and pretty soon in my sleep I heard two voices and then I
wakes up sudden and still hears them, low and quicklike, in the room
that opens right off from the library with a pair of them sliding doors
like is on to a boxcar. One was a woman's voice, and not Miss Estelle's,
and she says like she was choked up:
“But I _must_ see them before we go, Henry.”
And the other was a man's voice, and it wasn't no one around our house.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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