British -- Italy -- Fiction; Dogs -- Fiction; Young women -- Fiction
"Oh, that is impossible. Oliver, at least, would have spoken plainly.
And has he not had my letter?" Her voice quivered a little as she went
on. "Phillis--I don't know--I think I could do something dreadful for
people if they wanted it, but then it is hard, isn't it, if they don't
take any notice? Perhaps one shouldn't care about that, but I do. If
Clive would only say straight out, `I have done something bad, but I
know you'll not give me up,' and then if he said `God bless you, Bice,'
afterwards, why--one could bear--bear anything."
"Bice," said Phillis, looking at her.
"What?"
"You haven't told me all."
"Not quite," she said reluctantly. "I don't like telling, or even
thinking; but you know I am very miserable."
"Has Mr Trent got you to promise?"
"How could I help it?" she said, drooping her head. "He did so much.
It was like a network all round. Even mamma, poor mamma, she is so
poor, you know, and he was kind--but I had things, I did manage that."
She had mechanically raised her hand to her throat as she spoke, and
Phillis noticed that a slender gold chain which she generally wore was
gone, and that she had neither earrings nor any bit of jewellery about
her. "I couldn't do anything for Clive, it was like a horrible
nightmare, and what would have become of him but for Oliver? When this
last letter came, another came too from Oliver, telling me a great deal.
It did not seem worth while to make so much fuss about oneself, and
so--I wrote and promised." The tone in which she said those last words
told much, and perhaps Phillis had herself had experience of that state
of mind. She bent over and kissed her.
"Oh, my dear," she said brokenly, "but you shouldn't, you shouldn't have
done it!"
"It is done," said the girl, clasping her hands round her knees, and
looking out towards the old basilica with its domes. But Phillis saw
there were tears in her eyes.
"Write and undo it," she urged.
"No; I wouldn't be so ungrateful for worlds. And at any rate it seems
as if it would make him happy." Phillis felt no satisfaction at this
prospect. She was full of pity, yet almost angry with this young
creature who was throwing away her own happiness, and, alas! other
people's too. Was this to be the end of what Phillis herself had
done?--was no good to come out of her own pain? She hushed the cry of
her heart almost angrily. "He did not love me, he did not love me," she
said to herself, "and this makes no difference. Only I hoped he would
have been happy."
Perhaps Bice felt that she could bear no more, for she jumped up.
"I have not heard their voices for a long while," she said. "They can't
have gone without us! Or suppose we find the great iron door at the
bottom shut?"
"Oh, there's a bell. We shall see some one."
Down on a lower tier they found Jack waiting. He explained that Mrs
Leyton and Kitty had driven back with Mrs Masters, Captain Leyton was
sketching the Arch of Constantine.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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