studied it, but could make nothing of it, and yet this was what had so
much interested her! "O God!" he said to himself passionately, "if I
could, if I did but know! She cares not a pin for me; this is what she
cares for." Poor Tom! he did not pride himself on the absence of a sense
in him, but knew and acknowledged to himself that he was defective. It
is quite possible to be aware of a spiritual insensibility which there is
no power to overcome--of the existence of a universe in which other
favoured souls are able to live, one which they can report, and yet its
doors are closed to us, or, if sitting outside we catch a glimpse of what
is within, we have no power to utter a single sufficient word to acquaint
anybody with what we have seen: Catharine respected Tom greatly, for she
understood well enough what her father owed to him, but she could not
love him. One penetrating word from Mr. Cardew thrilled every fibre in
her, no matter what the subject might be. Tom, in every mood and on
every topic, was uninteresting and ordinary. To tell the truth, plain,
common probity taken by itself was not attractive to her. Horses, dogs,
cows, the fields were more stimulant than perfect integrity, for she was
young and did not know how precious it was; but, after all, the reason of
reasons why she did not love Tom was that she did not love him.
It was announced one day by small handbills in the shop windows that a
sermon was to be preached by Mr. Cardew, of Abchurch, in Eastthorpe, on
behalf of the County Infirmary, and Catharine went to hear him. It was
in the evening, and she was purposely late. She did no go to her
mother's pew, but sat down close to the door. To her surprise she saw
Tom not far off. He was on his way to his chapel when he noticed
Catharine alone, walking towards the church, and he had followed her. Mr.
Cardew took for his text the parable of the prodigal son. He began by
saying that this parable had been taken to be an exhibition of God's love
for man. It seemed rather intended to set forth, not the magnificence of
the Divine nature, but of human nature--of that nature which God assumed.
The determination on the part of the younger son to arise, to go to his
father, and above everything to say to him simply, "Father, I have
sinned," was as great as God is great: it was God--God moving in us; in a
sense it was far more truly God--far greater than the force which binds
the planets into a system. But the splendour of human nature--do not
suppose any heresy here; it is Bible truth, the very gospel--is shown in
the father as well as in the son.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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