Bildungsromans; English fiction -- 20th century; Women musicians -- Fiction
When Mrs. Jopson departed and left Catherine alone in the familiar
house, the atmosphere changed. The very furniture seemed charged
with secrets--secrets concerning the manner in which Mr. Weston had
spent his evenings. Whether he had gone out much, or read books or
merely moped about. Only the gramophone seemed anxious to betray its
information, and the tin horn, cocked up at an absurdly self-confident
angle, had the appearance of declaring: “Judge from me what sort of a
man he was. I was nearly the last thing he troubled about. I am the
answer to one at least of his cravings.” From the gramophone Catherine
turned to the writing-desk. That at any rate guarded what it knew with
some show of modesty. It was full of papers belonging to Mr. Weston,
but they all seemed to emphasize the perfect normality of his life.
Algebra papers marked and unmarked, catalogues of educational book
publishers, odd cuttings from newspapers, notes from parents asking
that children should be allowed to go home early, printed lists of
scholarship candidates, and so forth. Everything to show that Mr.
Weston had gone on living pretty much as he had been accustomed.
Everything to make it more mysterious than ever why he should suddenly
cut his throat while shaving. Catherine was puzzled. She had been
constructing a grand tragedy round this pitifully insignificant man;
under the stimulating influence of her own imagination she had already
begun to sympathize; doubtless if her imagination had discovered
anything substantial to feed on she might have ended by passionate
affection for her own dead father. Several times recently she had
been on the verge of tears, not for him personally, but out of vague
sympathy with the victim of a poignant tragedy. For to her it did
indeed seem a poignant tragedy that a man so weak, so fatuous as he
was should be left entirely alone at a time when he most needed the
companionship of someone stronger. She did not in the least regret
leaving him. That was inevitable. He wanted to boss the show. He was so
pitifully weak, so conscious of weakness that he manufactured a crisis
rather than yield on what he regarded as a crucial point. Afterwards,
no doubt, he had regretted his hastiness. Yet that strange interview on
the train to Liverpool Street seemed incapable of being fitted in....
Catherine had often thought of him sorrowing, regretting, mourning. She
had regarded his suicide as a tragic confirmation of his misery. And
now the interior of his writing-desk seemed to say: “Oh, he was much
the same--you’d scarcely have noticed any difference in him.” And the
gramophone chuckled and declared: “As a matter of fact the old chap was
beginning to have rather a good time....”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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