Bildungsromans; English fiction -- 20th century; Women musicians -- Fiction
As a matter of fact she did _not_ go. But it was from an absurdly
accidental reason. She was strolling along the Ridgeway soon after
lunch on Saturday when she suddenly reflected that she did not know
what time he wished to see her. Was it two o’clock or three? She failed
to remember, and of course the postcard had been thrown away. At two
o’clock she felt she would not run the risk of being an hour too early.
Something in her suggested half-past two as a compromise; but when the
half-hour chimed she decided that since that would be wrong in any
case she had better wait till three. And at three she felt sure that
his card had said two, so she went back to Gifford Road. In a way she
was pleased with herself. She had kept her word. She had not gone. The
narrowness of her victory seemed to emphasize its magnitude.
At the theatre that evening an introductory film was shown. It dealt
with the Napoleonic invasion of Russia. Something in Catherine impelled
her to play “Poland is Lost.” ...
§ 4
On Monday a letter arrived at the theatre for her. The angular script
on the envelope told her who had written it. It ran:
I presume you forgot on Saturday. If so, come on Wednesday at seven
p.m.
R. VERREKER.
Catherine was conscious that the struggle was not yet over. On the
contrary, it was beginning again. The issue was not, Did she want to go
or not? It was, Should she keep the vow she had made to herself? She
made a great fuss over weighing both sides of this crucial problem, yet
she knew it was a foregone conclusion what the result would be. Then
she decided she was giving the matter a place out of all proportion to
its importance. After all, it was of little consequence whether she
went or not. She would wait till Wednesday, and do just what she felt
like at the time.
Then she pondered over the precise significance of his phrase “if
so.” Did he suspect that her absence on Saturday was not due to
forgetfulness?
§ 5
At the inquest on Mr. Weston the usual verdict was brought in: “Suicide
during temporary insanity.”
Catherine found herself in possession of a houseful of cheap furniture
and a sum of twenty odd pounds in the Post Office Savings Bank. She
retained a small quantity of clothing and a few kitchen utensils; the
rest of the stuff at 24, Kitchener Road was sold by auction. It fetched
fifty-five pounds when all expenses had been deducted. She had a horror
of hoarding vast quantities of lumber in the form of keepsakes and
mementoes, so she destroyed everything that had no intrinsic value
except the diaries Those she transported to Gifford Road and kept.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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