Americans -- Philippines -- Fiction; Short stories
I looked at it stupidly, at first without comprehension. Then the whole
thing flashed upon me in an understanding so sudden, so complete, so
profound, that it simply dazed me, left me there inert between two
extraordinary and conflicting desires to laugh and weep--laugh,
extravagantly, madly; weep, with the same abandon, thoroughly, humidly,
sentimentally.
It was an answer to my question. And it was a picture. A picture of
himself--I recognised the fine, white forehead, the sensitive mouth,
the wide, pure eyes. But on the cranium there was hair, hair, do you
hear? Not a little of it, not a mere trifle, but hair, an abundance of
it, a magnificent leonine mane, a wealth of it, waving and rolling,
curling over the ears, setting off the whole person in distinction.
There was hair on his head; there were brows over his eyes, dark brows
that must have contrasted finely with the wide, blue orbs. There it was,
the answer. He had had hair; he was bald. This was the whole of his
ridiculous tragedy. He had had hair, do you understand?--and now he had
none.
There I had it, complete; but he evidently did not think so. Or rather
he didn't bother about me at all. A powerful impulse to unburden himself
possessed him now; all the accumulated wonder and pain at Fate's wanton
outrage poured out of him, hurling away like so much chaff the rigid dam
of restraint held against it so long. He talked now, at first in broken
phrases, then more freely as he went on, in a smooth current, hopeless,
fatalistic, but tinged with a strange self-compassion. And yet there was
the old detachment. He seemed analysing someone else, telling the
pitiful adventure of some other man, as if he could not believe it had
occurred to himself, as if his credulity did not suffice before the
wonder and cruelty of the thing. A mild astonishment pervaded him.
It had begun with a little gray spot on the crown, a very little spot.
That was several years ago. He counted, and I was astonished: he must be
very young yet. He didn't pay much attention to it. He was happy, then,
he explained, and it took much to bother him. He had just accepted a
post in the English department of a Western University. It was a lovely
place, by the sea. There were hills behind, all velvety gray and gold.
His house was covered with climbing roses, absolutely covered, embowered
in them like a nest. His associations were pleasant; he loved his work.
His lectures were attracting some attention. It was lovely. He was
happy. And then there was----
He stopped and was silent quite a while; his eyes, hazy with
retrospection, took on tones of marvellous softness. And when he began
again I had the impression that he had left out something.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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