"It was so sweet that I knelt on, drinking it in for a long time; not
praying, you know, but just resting, and feeling as if I were in heaven,
till all at once, I cannot explain why, I moved and looked round. It was
there at the other end of the room. It was ...--much worse than I had
dreaded it would be; as if it looked out of some great horror deeper
than I could understand. The loving feeling was gone, and I was
afraid--so much afraid, I only wanted to get out of sight of it. And I
think I would have gone, but it stretched out its hands to me as if it
were asking for something, and then, of course, I could not go. So,
though I was trembling a little, I went nearer and looked into its face.
And after that I was not afraid any more, I was too sorry for it; its
poor poor eyes were so full of anguish. I cried: 'Oh, why do you look at
me like that? Tell me what I shall do.'
"And directly I spoke I heard it moan. Oh, George, oh, Mr. Lyndsay, how
can I tell you what that moaning was like! Do you know how a little
change in the face of some one you love, or a little tremble in his
voice, can make you see quite clearly what nobody, not even the great
poets, had been able to show you before?
"George, do you remember the day that grandmother died, when they all
broke down and cried a little at dinner, all except Uncle Marmaduke? He
sat up looking so white and stern at the end of the table. And I,
foolish little child, thought he was not so grieved as the others--that
he did not love his mother so much. But next day, quite by chance, I
heard him, all alone, sobbing over her coffin. I remember standing
outside the door and listening, and each sob went through my heart with
a little stab, and I knew for the first time what sorrow was. But even
his sobs were not so pitiful as the moans of that poor spirit. While I
listened I learnt that in another world there may be worse for us to
bear than even here--sorrow more hopeless, more lonely. For the strange
thing was, the moaning seemed to come from so far far away; not only
from somewhere millions and millions of miles away, but--this is the
strangest of all--as if it came to me from time long since past, ages
and ages ago. I know this sounds like nonsense, but indeed I am trying
to put into words the weary long distance that seemed to stretch between
us, like one I never should be able to cross. At last it spoke to me in
a whisper which I could only just hear; at least it was more like a
whisper than anything else I can think of, and it seemed to come like
the moaning from far far away. It thanked me so meekly for looking at it
and speaking to it. It told me that by sins committed against others
when it was on earth it had broken the bond between itself and all other
creatures. While it was what we call alive, it did not feel this, for
the senses confuse us and hide many things from the good, and so still
more from the wicked; but when it died and lost the body by which it
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