Their first letters were quite formal. But one day Alfred was
surprised by a letter beginning My dear Mr. Stanby. He asked himself
if the my was intentional or accidental, and, after some reflection,
began his letter 'My dear Miss Lawson.' A fortnight later he received
a letter without the first line of usual address. This seemed to him
significant, and he too omitted the first line, and in signing changed
the yours truly to yours always. They wrote to each other two or three
times a week, and Alfred had frequent appointments with Mildred. She
wished to consult him about various things, and made various pretexts
for asking him to come and see her. Her flirtations had hitherto been
conducted by the aid of books and pictures. But, in Alfred's case,
books and pictures were not possible pretexts; he knew nothing about
either, he played several instruments but could not talk music, and
her attempts to play his accompaniments seemed to estrange them.
Gardening and tennis she had to fall back upon, and tennis meant the
invitation of the young men and women of the neighbourhood, and this
did not coincide with Mildred's ideas; her flirtations were severely
private, she was not herself in the presence of many people. But she
had to make the best of things; and having set the young people of the
neighbourhood playing their game she walked about the grounds with
Alfred.
She had tried on several occasions to allude to the past, the
slightest allusion would precipitate a conclusion, and destroy the
sentiment of distrust that separated and rendered their companionship
uncomfortable. But Alfred persistently avoided all allusion to the
past. He was very attentive, and clearly preferred her to other girls,
but their conversation was strictly formal, and Mildred could not
account for this discrepancy. If he cared for her no longer, why did
he pay her so much attention. If he did care for her, why did he not
tell her so. The wall of formality with which he opposed her puzzled
and irritated her. Often she thought it would be well to abandon the
adventure, but at least, in her flirtations, she had not failed. She
recalled the number of her victims, the young poets who used to come
to see Helene; none had ever hesitated between them. She had only to
hold up her little finger to get any one of them away from Helene. It
was strange that Alfred remained cold; she knew he was not cold; she
remembered the storm of their interview when she broke off her
engagement five years ago.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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