She held her arms to the night, and the scents of night mingled with
the passion of her bosom. But a wind rustled the leaves in the garden,
and, drawing the scarf tightly about her, she said: 'Should I have
turned from him if he had come, I wonder? Why should the idea
transport, and the reality extinguish? Why cannot I live in natural
instinct? ... I can, I will.... Morton shall come back.... He has not
married Rose Turner; I should have heard of it if he had.... I've only
to hold up my finger, and he will come back. But if I did get him
back, and he did propose, how do I know that it would not be for my
money? A love once dead cannot be revived; nothing ever happens
twice.'
She crept back to her bed, cold and despondent. The passing passion
she had felt for Morton was but a passing sensation of the summer
night, as transient as the snatches of perfume which the night wind
carried into the room. Again she cared for nothing in the world. She
did not know what was going to become of her; the burden of life
seemed so unbearable; she felt so unhappy. She lay quite still, with
her eyes wide open, seeing the questions go round like the hands of a
clock; the very words sounded as loud and distinct in her brain as the
ticking of a clock. Her nerves were shattered, and life grew terribly
distinct in the insomnia of the hot summer night. ... She threw
herself over and over in her burning bed until at last her soul cried
out of its lucid misery: 'Give me a passion for God or man, but give
me a passion. I cannot live without one.'
JOHN NORTON
I.
Mrs. Norton walked with her quiet, decisive step to the window, and
holding the gold-rimmed glasses to her eyes, she looked into the
landscape. The day was grimy with clouds; mist had risen, and it hung
out of the branches of the elms like a grey veil. She was a woman of
forty-five, tall, strongly-built, her figure setting to the squareness
of middle age. Her complexion was flushed, and her cold grey eyes were
close together above a long thin nose. Her fashionably-cut silk fitted
perfectly; the skirt was draped with grace and precision of style, and
the glossy shawl with the long soft fringe fell gracefully over her
shoulders. 'Surely,' she thought, 'he cannot have been foolish enough
to have walked over the downs such a day as this;' then, raising her
glasses again, she looked out at the smallest angle with the wall of
the house, so that she should get sight of a vista through which any
one coming from Shoreham would have to pass. At that moment a
silhouette appeared on the sullen sky. Mrs. Norton moved precipitately
from the window, and rang the bell.
'James,' she said, 'Mr. Hare has been going in for one of his long
walks. He is coming across the park. I am sure he has walked over the
downs; if so, he must be wet through. Have a fire lighted, and put out
a pair of slippers for him: Here is the key of Mr. Norton's wardrobe;
let Mr. Hare have what he wants.'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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