As she stood watching the dead man, she could hear Ellen moving in the
passage. She did not know what Ellen knew of her relations with Ralph.
But there could be no doubt that Ellen was aware that they were of an
intimate nature. She hoped, hurriedly, that Ellen did not suspect her
of being Ralph's mistress, and listened again, wondering if Ellen
would come into the studio. Or would she have the tact to leave her
alone with the dead? If she did come in it would be rather awkward.
She did not wish to appear heartless before Ellen, but tears might
lead Ellen to suspect. As Mildred knelt down, Ellen entered. Mildred
turned round.
'Don't let me disturb you,' said Ellen, 'when you have finished.'
'Will you not say a prayer with me?'
'I have said my prayers. Our prayers would not mingle.'
'What does she mean?' thought Mildred. She buried her face in her
hands and asked herself what Ellen meant. 'Our prayers would not
mingle. Why? Because I'm a pure woman, and she isn't. I wonder if she
meant that. I hope she does not intend any violence. I must say
nothing to annoy, her.' Her heart throbbed with fear, her knees
trembled, she thought she would faint. Then it occurred to her that it
would be a good idea to faint. Ellen would have to carry her into the
street, and in the street she would be safe.
And resolved to faint on the slightest provocation she rose from her
knees, and stood facing the other woman, whom she noticed, with some
farther alarm, stood between her and the door. If she could get out of
this difficulty she never would place herself in such a position
again.... Mildred tried to speak, but words stuck fast in her throat,
and it was some time before her terror allowed her to notice that the
expression on Ellen's face was not one of anger, but of resignation.
She was safe.
'She has pretty eyes,' thought Mildred, 'a weak, nervous creature; I
can do with her what I like. ... If she thinks that she can get the
better of me, I'll very soon show her that she is mistaken. Of course,
if it came to violence, I could do nothing but scream. I'm not
strong.'
Then Mildred said in a firm voice:
'I'm much obliged to you for your letter. This is very sad, I'll send
some more flowers for the coffin. Good morning.'
But a light came into Ellen's eyes, which Mildred did not like.
'Well,' she said, 'I hope you're satisfied. He died thinking of you. I
hope you're satisfied.'
'Mr. Hoskin and I were intimate friends. It is only natural that he
should think of me.'
'We were happy until you came... you've made dust and ashes of my
life. Why did you take the trouble to do this? You were not in love
with him, and I did you no injury.'
'I didn't know of your existence till the other day. I heard that---'
'That I was his mistress. Well, so I was. It appears that you were
not. But, I should like to know which of us two is the most virtuous,
which has done the least harm. I made him happy, you killed him.'
'This is madness.'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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