She was covered with flowers and ribbons, and, though a little woman,
she looked very handsome in her triumph. Morton hated her triumph,
knowing that it robbed him of her. But he hid his jealousy as he would
his hand in a game of cards, and, when the last guests were going, he
bade her good-night with a calm face. He saw her go upstairs with M.
Delacour. Madame Delacour had gone to her room; she had felt so tired
that she could sit up no longer and had begged her husband to excuse
her, and as Mildred went upstairs, three or four steps in front of M.
Delacour, she stopped to arrange with Elsie and Cissy when she should
come to fetch them, they were all going home together.
At that moment Morton saw her so clearly that the thought struck him
that he had never seen her before. She appeared in that instant as a
toy, a trivial toy made of coloured glass; and as a maleficent toy,
for he felt if he played with it any longer that it would break and
splinter in his fingers. 'As brilliant, as hard, and as dangerous as a
piece of broken glass.' He wondered why he had been attracted by this
bit of coloured glass; he laughed at his folly and went home certain
that he could lose her without pain. But memory of her delicate neck
and her wistful eyes suddenly assailed him; he threw himself over on
his pillow, aching to clasp the lissome mould of her body--a mould
which he knew so well that he seemed to feel its every shape in his
arms; his nostrils recalled its perfume, and he asked himself if he
would destroy his picture, 'The Sheepfold,' if, by destroying it, he
could gain her. For six months with her in Italy he would destroy it,
and he would not regret its destruction. But had she the qualities
that make a nice mistress? Candidly, he did not think she had. He'd
have to risk that. Anyhow, she wasn't common like the others.... In
time she would become common; time makes all things common.
'But this is God-damned madness,' he cried out, and lay staring into
the darkness, his eyes and heart on fire. Visions of Mildred and
Delacour haunted his pillow, he did not know whether he slept or
waked; and he rose from his bed weary, heavy-eyed, and pale.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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