Cerise: A Tale of the Last CenturyWhyte-Melville, G. J. (George John)
General
Cerise: A Tale of the Last Century
Whyte-Melville, G. J. (George John)
Historical fiction
He ought to have known, he _did_ know, his danger. If he was not sure
of it during his ride to the coast, while he crossed the Channel, and
felt the wild spray dash against his face like the greeting of an old
friend, nor in the long journey that took him northward through many
a smiling valley and breezy upland of that country which he had once
thought so gloomy and desolate, which seemed so fair and sunny now,
because it was _hers_, he ought to have realised it when he rode under
the old oaks at Hamilton Hill, and dreaded, even more than he longed, to
see her white dress glancing among their stems. Above all, he ought to
have been warned, when, entering the house, though Lady Hamilton herself
did not appear, he felt surrounded by her presence, and experienced
that sensation of repose which, after all his tumult of anxiety and
uncertainty, pervades a man’s whole being in the home of the woman he
loves. There were her gardening gloves, and plain straw hat, perhaps yet
warm from her touch, lying near the door. There were flowers that surely
must have been gathered by her hands but a few hours ago, on the table
where he laid his pistols and riding-wand. There was her work set aside
on a chair, her shawl thrown over its back, the footstool she had used
pushed half across the floor, and an Iceland hawk, with hood, bell, and
jesses, moving restlessly on the perch, doubtless in expectation of its
mistress’s return.
He tried hard to deceive himself, and he succeeded. He felt that in all
his lawless infatuation for this pure, spotless woman, he had never loved
her so well as now—now, that she was his friend’s wife! But he argued, he
pleaded, he convinced himself in his madness, that such a love as his,
even a husband must approve. It was an affection, he repeated, or rather
a worship, completely spiritualised and self-sacrificing, to outlast the
material trammels of this life, and follow her, still faithful, still
changeless, into eternity. So true, so holy, however hopeless, however
foolish, could such a love as this, deprived of all earthly leaven, be
criminal, even in _him_, the priest, for _her_, the wedded wife? No, no,
he told himself, a thousand times, no! And all the while the man within
the man, who sits, and mocks, and judges, and condemns us all, said Yes—a
thousand times—Yes!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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