Chains : $b lesser novels and storiesDreiser, Theodore
General
Chains : $b lesser novels and stories
Dreiser, Theodore
American fiction -- 20th century; Short stories, American
As she stood there without moving, there flashed before her a complete
panorama of all the paths and benches of King Lake Park—the little
boats that slipped here and there under the trees at night in the
summertime—a boy and a girl—a boy and a girl—a boy and a girl—to each
boat. And the oars dragging most inconsequentially—and infatuated heads
together—infatuated hearts beating ecstatically—suffocatingly strong.
Yet now—after so many kisses and promises, the lie given to her dreams,
her words—his words on which her words had been based—the lie given to
kisses—hours, days, weeks, months of unspeakable bliss—the lie given
to her own security and hopes, forever. Oh, it would be best to die—it
would—it would.
And then a slow and dragging return to her room, where because of the
absence of her father and stepmother she managed to slip into her bed
and lie there, thinking. But with a kind of fever, alternating with
chills—and both shot through with most menacing pains due to this
most astounding revelation. And with a sudden and keener volume of
resentment than she had ever known gathering in her brain. The cruelty!
The cruelty! And the falsehood! He had not only lied but insulted her
as well. He who only five months before had sought her so eagerly with
his eyes and intriguing smile. The liar! The brute! The monster! Yet
linked and interwoven with such thoughts as these, a lacerating desire
not to believe them—to turn back a month—two—three—to find in his eyes
somewhere a trace of something that would gainsay it all. Oh, Ed! Ed!
And so the night going—and the dawn coming. A horrible lacerating day.
And after that other days. And with no one to talk to—no one. If only
she could tell her stepmother all. And so other days and nights—all
alone. And with blazing, searing, whirling, disordered thoughts in
unbroken procession stalking her like demons. The outside world in case
she were to be thrust into it! Her own unfamiliarity and hence fear
of it! Those chattering, gaping youths on the corners—the girls she
knew—their thoughts, since they must all soon know. Her loneliness
without love. These and a hundred related thoughts dancing a fantastic,
macabre mental dance before her.
But even so, within her own brain the persistent and growing illusion
that all she had heard from him was not true—a chimera—and so for the
time being at least continued faith in the value of pleading. Her
wonderful lover. It must be that still some understanding could be
reached. Yet with growing evidence that by no plea or plaint was he to
be restored to his former attitude. For, in answer to notes, waiting at
the corners, at the end of the street which led down to his father’s
coal-dock, in the vicinity of his home—silence, evasions, or direct
insults, and sneers, even.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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