Chains : $b lesser novels and storiesDreiser, Theodore
General
Chains : $b lesser novels and stories
Dreiser, Theodore
American fiction -- 20th century; Short stories, American
Then of a sudden, noting that I studied him and wondered, he grew
restless and finally stood up, then walked about looking at some
paintings and examining a shelf of books. His manner was that of one
who is perplexed and undetermined, of one who has stood out against
a silence and loneliness of which he was intensely weary. Then of a
sudden he wheeled and faced me: “I can’t stand it. That’s what’s the
matter. I just can’t stand it any longer. I’ve tried and tried. I
thought the child would make things work out all right, but she didn’t.
She didn’t want a child and never forgave me for persuading her to
have Janet. And then that literary craze—that was really my own fault,
though. I was the one that encouraged her to read and go to theatres.
I used to tell her she wasn’t up-to-date, that she ought to wake up
and find out what was going on in the world, that she ought to get in
with intelligent people. But it wasn’t that either. If she had been the
right sort of woman she couldn’t have done as she did.” He paused and
clenched his hands nervously and dramatically. It was as though he were
denouncing her to her face instead of to me.
“Now, Wray,” I interposed, “how useless to say that. Which of us is as
he should be? Why will you talk so?”
“But let me tell you what she did,” he went on fiercely. “You haven’t
an idea of what I’ve been through, not an idea. She tried to poison me
once so as to get rid of me.” And here followed a brief and sad recital
of the twists and turns and desperation of one who was intensely
desirous of being free of one who was as desirous of holding her. And
then he added: “And she was in love with another man, only I could
never find out who he was.” And his voice fell to a low, soft level,
as though he was even then trying to solve the mystery of who it was.
“And I know she had an operation performed, though I could never prove
it.” And he gave me details of certain mysterious goings to and fro,
of secret pursuits on his part, actions and evidences and moods and
quarrels that pointed all too plainly to a breach that could never be
healed. “And what’s more,” he exclaimed at last, “she tortured me.
You’ll never know. You couldn’t. But I loved her.... And I love her
now.” Once more the tensely gripped fingers, the white face, the flash
of haunted eyes.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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