'Oh, Julian! Poor Paul! How terrible to die like that, alone, in the
sea, at night....' For a moment her eyes were expressive of real
horror, and she clasped Julian's hand, gazing at him while all the
visions of her imagination were alive in her eyes. She seemed to be
on the point of adding something further, but continued to cry for a
few moments, and then said, greatly sobered, 'You appear to take for
granted that he has killed himself?'
He considered this. Up to the present no doubt whatever had existed
in his mind. The possibility of an accident had not occurred to him.
The very quality of repose and peace that he had witnessed had offered
itself to him as the manifest evidence that the man had sought the only
solution for a life grown unendurable. He had acknowledged the man's
wisdom, bowing before his recognition of the conclusive infallibility
of death as a means of escape. Cowardly? so men often said, but
circumstances were conceivable--circumstances in the present case
unknown, withheld, and therefore not to be violated by so much as a
hazarded guess--circumstances were conceivable in which no other course
was to be contemplated. He replied with gravity,--
'I do believe he put an end to his life.'
The secret reason would probably never be disclosed; even if it came
within sight, Julian must now turn his eyes the other way. The secret
which he might have, nay, should have, wrenched from his friend's
reserve while he still lived, must remain sacred and unprofaned now
that he was dead. Not only must he guard it from his own knowledge, but
from the knowledge of others. With this resolution he perceived that he
had already blundered.
'Eve, I have been wrong; this thing must be presented as an accident. I
have no grounds for believing that he took his life. I must rely on you
to support me. In fairness on poor Paul.... He told me nothing. A man
has a right to his own reticence.'
He paused, startled at the truth of his discovery, and cried out,
taking his head between his hands,--
'Oh God! the appalling loneliness of us all!'
He shook his head despairingly for a long moment with his hands pressed
over his temples. Dropping his hands with a gesture of discouragement
and lassitude, he regarded Eve.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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