'I heard the voice of my fantastic Eve, of whom I once thought,' she
added, fixing her eyes on Eve, 'as the purest of beings, utterly
removed from the sordid and the ugly.'
Eve suddenly flung herself on her knees beside her.
'Ah, Kato,' she said, 'you throw me off my guard when you play to me.
I'm not always hard and calculating, and your music melts me. It hurts
me to be, as I constantly am, on the defensive. I'm too suspicious by
nature to be very happy, Kato. There are always shadows, and ... and
tragedy. Please don't judge me too harshly. Tell me what you mean by
sordid and ugly--what is there sordid or ugly in love?'
Kato dared much; she replied in a level voice,--
'Jealousy. Waste. Exorbitance. Suspicion. I am sometimes afraid of
your turning Julian into another of those men who hoped to find their
inspiration in a woman, but found only a hindrance.'
She nodded sagely at Eve, and the gold wheat-ears trembled in her hair.
Eve darkened at Julian's name; she got up and stood by the door looking
into the court. Kato went on,--
'You are so much of a woman, Eve, that it becomes a responsibility.
It is a gift, like genius. And a great gift without a great soul is
a curse, because such a gift is too strong to be disregarded. It's a
force, a danger. You think I am preaching to you'--Eve would never
know what the words were costing her--'but I preach only because of my
belief in Julian--and in you,' she hastened to add, and caught Eve's
hand; 'don't frown, you child. Look at me; I have no illusions and no
sensitiveness on the score of my own appearance; look at me hard, and
let me speak to you as a sexless creature.'
Eve was touched in spite of her hostility. She was also shocked and
distressed. There was to her, so young herself, so insolently vivid in
her sex-pride, something wrong and painful in Kato's renouncement of
her right. She had a sense of betrayal.
'Hush, Anastasia,' she whispered. They were both extremely moved, and
the constant volleys of firing played upon their nerves and stripped
reserve from them.
'You don't realise,' said Kato, who had, upon impulse, sacrificed her
pride, and beaten down the feminine weakness she branded as unworthy,
'how finely the balance, in love, falters between good and ill. You,
Eve, are created for love; any one who saw you, even without speaking
to you, across a room, could tell you that.' She smiled affectionately;
she had, at that moment, risen so far above all personal vanity that
she could bring herself to smile affectionately at Eve. 'You said, just
now, with truth I am sure, that shadows and tragedy were never very far
away from you; you're too _rare_ to be philosophical. I wish there were
a word to express the antithesis of a philosopher; if I could call you
by it, I should have said all that I could wish to say about you, Eve.
I'm so much afraid of sorrow for you and Julian....'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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