'If I am mad, you are unutterably cruel,' she said, twisting her
fingers together; 'will you answer me, yes or no? I believe it is
true,' she rushed on, immolating herself, 'you have fallen in love with
some woman in England, and she, naturally, with you. Who is she? You
have promised to marry her. You, whom I thought so free and splendid,
to load yourself with the inevitable fetters!'
'I should lose caste in your eyes?' he asked, thinking to himself that
Eve was, when roused, scarcely a civilised being. 'But if you marry
Miloradovitch you will be submitting to the same fetters you think so
degrading.'
'Miloradovitch,' she said impatiently, 'Miloradovitch will no more
ensnare me than have the score of people I have been engaged to since
I last saw you. You are still evading your answer.'
'You will never marry?' he dwelt on his discovery.
'Nobody that I loved,' she replied without hesitation, 'but, Julian,
Julian, you don't answer my question?'
'Would you marry me if I wanted you to?' he asked carelessly.
'Not for the world, but why keep me in suspense? only answer me, are
you trying to tell me that you have fallen in love? if so, admit
it, please, at once, and let me go; don't you see, I am leaving Fru
Thyregod on one side, I ask you in all humility now, Julian.'
'For perhaps the fiftieth time since you were thirteen,' he said,
smiling.
'Have you tormented me long enough?'
'Very well: I am in love with the Islands, and with nothing and nobody
else.'
'Then why had Fru Thyregod her hair down her back? you're lying to me,
and I despise you doubly for it,' she reverted, humble no longer, but
aggressive.
'Fru Thyregod again?' he said, bewildered.
'How little I trust you,' she broke out; 'I believe that you deceive me
at every turn. Kato, too; you spend hours in Kato's flat. What do you
do there? You write letters to people of whom I have never heard. You
dined with the Thyregods twice last week. Kato sends you notes by hand
from Herakleion when you are in the country. You use the Islands as
dust to throw in my eyes, but I am not blinded.'
'I have had enough of this!' he cried.
'You are like everybody else,' she insisted; 'you enjoy mean
entanglements, and you cherish the idea of marriage. You want a home,
like everybody else. A faithful wife. Children. I loathe children,' she
said violently. 'You are very different from me. You are tame. I have
deluded myself into thinking we were alike. You are tame, respectable.
A good citizen. You have all the virtues. I will live to show you how
different we are. Ten years hence, you will say to your wife, "No, my
dear, I really cannot allow you to know that poor Eve." And your wife,
well trained, submissive, will agree.'
He shrugged his shoulders, accustomed to such storms, and knowing that
she only sought to goad him into a rage.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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