Authors, American -- 19th century -- Biography; Humorists, American -- 19th century -- Biography; Twain, Mark, 1835-1910
The night before the Emperor's dinner I helped Smith take his exercise,
after midnight, and he was full of his project. He had sent in his
resignation that day, and was trembling for the result; and naturally,
because it might possibly be that the chancellor would be happy to fill
his place with somebody else, in which case he could accept the
resignation without comment and without offence. Smith was in a very
anxious frame of mind; not that he feared that Caprivi was dissatisfied
with him, for he had no such fear; it was the Emperor that he was afraid
of; he did not know how he stood with the Emperor. He said that while
apparently it was Caprivi who would decide his case, it was in reality
the Emperor who would perform that service; that the Emperor kept
personal watch upon everything, and that no official sparrow could fall
to the ground without his privity and consent; that the resignation
would be laid before his Majesty, who would accept it or decline to
accept it, according to his pleasure, and that then his pleasure in the
matter would be communicated by Caprivi. Smith said he would know his
fate the next evening, after the imperial dinner; that when I should
escort his Majesty into the large salon contiguous to the dining-room, I
would find there about thirty men--Cabinet ministers, admirals, generals
and other great officials of the Empire--and that these men would be
standing talking together in little separate groups of two or three
persons; that the Emperor would move from group to group and say a word
to each, sometimes two words, sometimes ten words; and that the length
of his speech, whether brief or not so brief, would indicate the exact
standing in the Emperor's regard, of the man accosted; and that by
observing this thermometer an expert could tell, to half a degree, the
state of the imperial weather in each case; that in Berlin, as in the
imperial days of Rome, the Emperor was the sun, and that his smile or
his frown meant good fortune or disaster to the man upon whom it should
fall. Smith suggested that I watch the thermometer while the Emperor
went his rounds of the groups; and added that if his Majesty talked four
minutes with any person there present, it meant high favor, and that the
sun was in the zenith, and cloudless, for that man.
I mentally recorded that four-minute altitude, and resolved to see if
any man there on that night stood in sufficient favor to achieve it.
Very well. After the dinner I watched the Emperor while he passed from
group to group, and privately I timed him with a watch. Two or three
times he came near to reaching the four-minute altitude, but always he
fell short a little. The last man he came to was Smith. He put his hand
on Smith's shoulder and began to talk to him; and when he finished, the
thermometer had scored seven minutes! The company then moved toward the
smoking-room, where cigars, beer and anecdotes would be in brisk service
until midnight, and as Smith passed me he whispered,
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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