Authors, American -- 19th century -- Biography; Humorists, American -- 19th century -- Biography; Twain, Mark, 1835-1910
BY MARK TWAIN.
[_Dictated October 8, 1906._]
_From Susy's Biography of Me._
Papa says that if the collera comes here he will take Sour Mash to
the mountains.
[Sidenote: (1885.)]
This remark about the cat is followed by various entries, covering a
month, in which Jean, General Grant, the sculptor Gerhardt, Mrs. Candace
Wheeler, Miss Dora Wheeler, Mr. Frank Stockton, Mrs. Mary Mapes Dodge,
and the widow of General Custer appear and drift in procession across
the page, then vanish forever from the Biography; then Susy drops this
remark in the wake of the vanished procession:
Sour Mash is a constant source of anxiety, care, and pleasure to
papa.
I did, in truth, think a great deal of that old tortoise-shell harlot;
but I haven't a doubt that in order to impress Susy I was pretending
agonies of solicitude which I didn't honestly feel. Sour Mash never gave
me any real anxiety; she was always able to take care of herself, and
she was ostentatiously vain of the fact; vain of it to a degree which
often made me ashamed of her, much as I esteemed her.
Many persons would like to have the society of cats during the summer
vacation in the country, but they deny themselves this pleasure because
they think they must either take the cats along when they return to the
city, where they would be a trouble and an encumbrance, or leave them in
the country, houseless and homeless. These people have no ingenuity, no
invention, no wisdom; or it would occur to them to do as I do: rent cats
by the month for the summer and return them to their good homes at the
end of it. Early last May I rented a kitten of a farmer's wife, by the
month; then I got a discount by taking three. They have been good
company for about five months now, and are still kittens--at least they
have not grown much, and to all intents and purposes are still kittens,
and as full of romping energy and enthusiasm as they were in the
beginning. This is remarkable. I am an expert in cats, but I have not
seen a kitten keep its kittenhood nearly so long before.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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