The secret of Falstaff's wit is for the most part a masterly
presence of mind, an absolute self-possession, which nothing can
disturb. His repartees are involuntary suggestions of his self-love;
instinctive evasions of everything that threatens to interrupt the
career of his triumphant jollity and self-complacency. His very size
floats him out of all his difficulties in a sea of rich conceits;
and he turns round on the pivot of his convenience, with every
occasion and at a moment's warning. His natural repugnance to every
unpleasant thought or circumstance of itself makes light of
objections, and provokes the most extravagant and licentious answers
in his own justification. His indifference to truth puts no check
upon his invention, and the more improbable and unexpected his
contrivances are, the more happily does he seem to be delivered of
them, the anticipation of their effect acting as a stimulus to the
gaiety of his fancy. The success of one adventurous sally gives him
spirits to undertake another: he deals always in round numbers, and
his exaggerations and excuses are 'open, palpable, monstrous as the
father that begets them'. His dissolute carelessness of what he says
discovers itself in the first dialogue with the Prince.
Falstaff. By the lord, thou say'st true, lad; and is not mine
hostess of the tavern a most sweet wench?
P. Henry. As the honey of Hibla, my old lad of the castle; and is
not a buff-jerkin a most sweet robe of durance?
Falstaff. How now, how now, mad wag, what in thy quips and thy
quiddities? what a plague have I to do with a buff-jerkin?
P. Henry. Why, what a pox have I to do with mine hostess of the
tavern?
In the same scene he afterwards affects melancholy, from pure
satisfaction of heart, and professes reform, because it is the
farthest thing in the world from his thoughts. He has no qualms of
conscience, and therefore would as soon talk of them as of anything
else when the humour takes him.
Falstaff. But Hal, I pr'ythee trouble me no more with vanity. I
would to God thou and I knew where a commodity of good names were to
be bought: an old lord of council rated me the other day in the
street about you, sir; but I mark'd him not, and yet he talked very
wisely, and in the street too.
P. Henry. Thou didst well, for wisdom cries out in the street, and
no man regards it.
Falstaff. O, thou hast damnable iteration, and art indeed able to
corrupt a saint. Thou hast done much harm unto me, Hal; God forgive
thee for it. Before I knew thee, Hal, I knew nothing, and now I am,
if a man should speak truly, little better than one of the wicked. I
must give over this life, and I will give it over, by the lord; an I
do not, I am a villain. I'll be damn'd for never a king's son in
Christendom.
P. Henry. Where shall we take a purse to-morrow. Jack?
Falstaff. Where thou wilt, lad, I'll make one; an I do not, call me
villain, and baffle me.
P. Henry. I see good amendment of life in thee, from praying to
purse-taking.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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