"My dear Val," said Denham solemnly, "let me inform your ignorance exactly what would happen. I know the chief from old experience. He'll sit back and listen to you with one of those pleasant smiles he puts on when he's working himself up into a rage. He'll completely disarm you-- as he did me once--and all the time, as he hears you patiently to the end, he'll think nothing about my lord Paddy there, but associate you, my poor boy, with what he will consider about the most outrageous piece of impudence he ever had addressed to him. Then suddenly he'll spring up and say--No, I will not spoil the purity of the atmosphere this beautiful evening by repeating a favourite expletive of his--he'll say something you will not at all like, and then almost kick you out of his quarters." "I don't believe it," I said. "That's giving me the lie, Val, my boy. He'll be in such a rage that he'll forget himself; for, though he's a splendid soldier, and as brave a man as ever crossed a charger, he is one of the--" "What, Mr Denham?" said the gentleman of whom he spoke, suddenly standing before us. "Pray speak out; I like to hear what my officers think of me." CHAPTER THIRTY TWO. DENHAM SHIVERS. I wanted to dash off--not from fear, but to indulge in a hearty roar of laughter--for Denham's countenance at that moment wore the drollest expression I have ever seen upon the face of man. "I--I--I beg your pardon, Colonel," he stammered at last. "For backbiting me, sir," said the Colonel shortly. "I could not help hearing your last sentence, for you raised your voice and forced it upon me. Now, if you please, I am one of the--what?" "I was--I was only telling Moray here, sir, that you were--er--er--very passionate, and that if--" "Passionate, am I?" "Yes, sir," stammered Denham. "No, no; I beg your pardon, sir. I didn't mean to say that." "I presume you are saying what you consider to be the truth, Mr Denham," said the Colonel coldly. "Now, pray go on: and that if--" "If he came to you with--with a message, sir, that he has just received, you would kick him out of your presence." "Humph!" said the Colonel sternly. "Just this minute, sir, you said of me what you believed to be the truth; but now you have been saying what you must know to be false.--Pray, what was the message Moray?" he added, turning to me. There was only one thing to do, and I did it, giving Moriarty's message to the end. "The insolent, conceited idiot!" said the Colonel scornfully. "You need not go back to him with my answer; but if you come across him again and he asks what I said, you can tell him this: that at the first opportunity I shall hand him over to my superior officers, as one of Her Majesty's subjects found with arms in his hand fighting against the British force after taking service with her enemies, and doing his best to impress Englishmen to serve in the same ranks.--Mr Denham, I should like a few words with you in the morning."