Charlemont; Or, The Pride of the Village. a Tale of KentuckySimms, William Gilmore
General
Charlemont; Or, The Pride of the Village. a Tale of Kentucky
Simms, William Gilmore
Kentucky -- Fiction
Our adventurer was snugly seated in the little but select chamber which
had been given him in the house of Squire Hinkley. A table, neatly
spread with a cotton cover, stood before him: a travelling-portfolio
was opened beneath his hand, with a broad sheet of paper, already well
written over, and waiting nothing but his signature, and perhaps the
postscript. He was absorbed unusually in his cogitations, and nibbled
into bits the feathery end of the gray goosequill of which he had been
making such excellent use. While he meditates, unseeing, we will use the
liberty of an old acquaintance to scan the letter--for such it is--which
he has been writing. Perhaps we shall gather from it some matters which
it may concern us yet to know:--
“Dear Barnabas: The strangest adventure--positively the very
strangest--that ever happened to a son of Murkey's, will keep me
from the embraces of the brethren a few weeks longer. I am benighted,
bewildered, taken with art-magic, transmuted, TRANSMOGRIFIED, not
myself nor yet another, but, as they say in Mississippi, 'a sort
of betweenity.' Fancy me suddenly become a convert to the bluest
presbyterianism, as our late excellent brother Woodford became, when he
found that he could not get Moll Parkinson on any other terms--and your
guess will not be very far from the true one. I am suddenly touched with
conviction. I have seen a light on my way from Tarsus. The scales have
fallen from my eyes. I have seen the wickedness of my ways, and yours
too, you dog; and, having resolved on my own repentance, I am taking
lessons which shall enable me to effect yours. Precious deal of salt
will it need for that! Salt river will fall, while its value rises. But
the glory of the thing--think of that, my boy! What a triumph it will
be to revolutionize Murkey's!--to turnout the drinkers and smokers, and
money-changers; to say, 'Hem! my brethren, let us pay no more taxes to
sin in this place!' There shall be no more cakes and ale. Ginger shall
have no heat i' the mouth there; and, in place of smoking meats and
tobacco, give you nothing but smoking methodism! Won't that be a sight
and a triumph which shall stir the dry bones in our valley--ay, and
bones not so dry? There shall be a quaking of the flesh in sundry
places. Flam will perish in the first fit of consternation; and if Joe
Burke's sides do not run into sop and jelly, through the mere humor of
the thing, then prophecy is out of its element quite.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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