That's the first free thing that has been offered me this year. But there are three things my physician forbids me from doing--to eat, drink, or talk. _To a manager:_ There are no bad towns--only bad plays! _On hearing that an actress in his employ had reflected on his management:_ In this message I am charged with neglecting your interests. This is a shock to me, because when one neglects his trust, he is dishonest. This is the first time I have ever been so accused, and I am wondering if you inspired the message. I think it important that you should know. _Being adjured by one of the family to take more exercise:_ I drove out to Richmond. Then I walked a mile. Now I hope you'll be satisfied. _To his sisters (he lived then at the Waldorf, but joined the family at a weekly dinner up-town):_ I am sending you a cook-book by Oscar of this hotel. You may find some use for it. When he came to the next weekly dinner he was offered several choice dishes prepared from Oscar's recipes. "I see my mistake," he said. "I wanted my usual home dinner. You give me what I receive all the time at the hotel." _To Alfred Sutro, in London:_ Give us something full of situations, and we will give you a bully time again in America. _To William Seymour, his stage-manager, about a performance of one of his plays:_ When you rehearse to-day will you try and get the old woman out of too much crying; get some smiles, and stop her screwing up her face every time she speaks. Of course, it's nervousness, but it looks as if she were ill. _To one of his associates:_ Miss Adams's receipts last week in Boston were the largest in the history of Boston theaters or anywhere--$23,000. But I had some others which I won't tell you about. _To an English author in 1913:_ At present the taste is "down with light plays, down with literary plays." They want plays with dramatic situations, intrigue, sex conflict. There is no use in giving the public what it does not want and what they ought to have. I am just finding that out, with much cost. _To a French agent:_ It seems a little reckless to be asked to pay $2,500 for the privilege of reading a new French play. The author seems to want to get rich quickly. I would be willing to add to his wealth if he has something that can be produced without such a preliminary penalty. _To W. Lestocq:_ When one talks to an English author about "Diplomacy," he says, "Oh, that's a theatrical play!" I wish I could get another like it. _To an English manager:_ A hundred theaters here are a few too many. Houses have closed on a Saturday night without any warning. Boston, Chicago, and Philadelphia have been better. You see we have this wonderful country to fall back on, which makes it different from London. _To an author in London:_