For the sake of the grave character whom he addressed, I need not recount how such a speech was received; suffice it to say, that Mike had been seen by a college porter, who reported him as my servant. I was in the very act of relating the anecdote to a large party at breakfast in my rooms, when a summons arrived, requiring my immediate attendance at the board, then sitting in solemn conclave at the examination hall. I accordingly assumed my academic costume as speedily as possible, and escorted by that most august functionary, Mr. M’Alister, presented myself before the seniors. The members of the board, with the provost at their head, were seated at a long oak table covered with books, papers, etc., and from the silence they maintained as I walked up the hall, I augured that a very solemn scene was before me. “Mr. O’Malley,” said the dean, reading my name from a paper he held in his hand, “you have been summoned here at the desire of the vice-provost, whose questions you will reply to.” I bowed. A silence of a few minutes followed, when, at length, the learned doctor, hitching up his nether garments with both hands, put his old and bleary eyes close to my face, while he croaked out, with an accent that no hackney-coachman could have exceeded in vulgarity,-- “Eh, O’Malley, you’re _quartus_, I believe; a’n’t you?” “I believe not. I think I am the only person of that name now on the books.” “That’s thrue; but there were three O’Malleys before you. Godfrey O’Malley, that construed _Calve Neroni_ to Nero the Calvinist,--ha! ha! ha!--was cautioned in 1788.” “My uncle, I believe, sir.” “More than likely, from what I hear of you,--_Ex uno_, etc. I see your name every day on the punishment roll. Late hours, never at chapel, seldom at morning lecture. Here ye are, sixteen shillings, wearing a red coat.” “Never knew any harm in that, Doctor.” “Ay, but d’ye see me, now? ‘Grave raiment,’ says the statute. And then, ye keep numerous beasts of prey, dangerous in their habits, and unseemly to behold.” “A bull terrier, sir, and two game-cocks, are, I assure you, the only animals in my household.” “Well. I’ll fine you for it.” “I believe, Doctor,” said the dean, interrupting in an undertone, “that you cannot impose a penalty in this matter.” “Ay, but I can. ‘Singing-birds,’ says the statute, ‘are forbidden within the wall.’” “And then, ye dazzled my eyes at Commons with a bit of looking-glass, on Friday. I saw you. May the devil!--ahem! As I was saying, that’s casting _reflections_ on the heads of the college; and your servant it was, _Michaelis Liber_, Mickey Free,--may the flames of!--ahem!--an insolent varlet! called me a sweep.” “You, Doctor; impossible!” said I, with pretended horror. “Ay, but d’ye see me, now? It’s thrue, for I looked about me at the time, and there wasn’t another sweep in the place but myself. Hell to!--I mean--God forgive me for swearing! but I’ll fine you a pound for this.”