“When I was acting commissary-general to the Portuguese forces some few years ago, I obtained great experience of the habits of the people; for though naturally of an unsuspecting temperament myself, I generally contrive to pick out the little foibles of my associates, even upon a short acquaintance. Now, my appointment pleased me very much on this score,--it gave me little opportunities of examining the world. ‘The greatest study of mankind is man,’--Sparks would say woman, but no matter. “Now, I soon discovered that our ancient and very excellent allies, the Portuguese, with a beautiful climate, delicious wines, and very delightful wives and daughters, were the most infernal rogues and scoundrels ever met with. ‘Make yourself thoroughly acquainted with the leading features of the natives,’ said old Sir Harry to me in a despatch from head-quarters; and, faith, it was not difficult,--such open, palpable, undisguised rascals never were heard of. I thought I knew a thing or two myself, when I landed; but, Lord love you! I was a babe, I was an infant in swaddling clothes, compared with them; and they humbugged me,--ay, _me!_--till I began to suspect that I was only walking in my sleep. “‘Why, Monsoon,’ said the general, ‘they told me you were a sharp fellow, and yet the people here seem to work round you every day. This will never do. You must brighten up a little or I shall be obliged to send you back.’ “‘General,’ said I, ‘they used to call me no fool in England; but, somehow, here--’ “‘I understand,’ said he; ‘you don’t know the Portuguese; there’s but one way with them,--strike quickly, and strike home. Never give them time for roguery,--for if they have a moment’s reflection, they’ll cheat the devil himself; but when you see the plot working, come slap down and decide the thing your own way.’ “Well, now, there never was anything so true as this advice, and for the eighteen months I acted upon it, I never knew it to fail. “‘I want a thousand measures of wheat.’ “‘Senhor Excellenza, the crops have been miserably deficient, and----’ “‘Sergeant-major,’ I would say, ‘these poor people have no corn; it’s a wine country,--let them make up the rations that way.’ “The wheat came in that evening. “‘One hundred and twenty bullocks wanted for the reserve.’ “‘The cattle are all up the mountains.’ “‘Let the alcalde catch them before night or I’ll catch _him_.’ “Lord bless you! I had beef enough to feed the Peninsula. And in this way, while the forces were eating short allowance and half rations elsewhere, our brigade were plump as aldermen.