"The History of Little Goody Two Shoes, otherwise called Mrs. Margery Two Shoes, with the means by which she acquired her Learning and Wisdom, and in consequence thereof, her Estate; set forth at large for the Benefit of those "Who from a state of Rags and Care And having Shoes but half a pair, Their fortune and their fame would fix And gallop in a Coach and Six. [Illustration: _The Renowned history of GOODY TWOSHOES."_ your rooks do. You [f.]ee they are going to re[f.]t already. Illustration: Two people in front of a building. Do you so likewi[f.]e, and get up with them in the morning; earn, as they do, every day what you eat, and eat and drink no more than you earn, and you'll get health and keep it. What [f.]hould induce the rooks to frequent gentlemen's hou[f.]es only, but to tell them how to lead a prudent life? They never build over cottages or farm hou[f.]es, becau[f.]e they [f.]ee, that the[f.]e people know how to live without their admonition. _Thus health and wit you may improve, Taught by the tenants of the grove._ The gentleman laughing gave Margery [f.]ixpence, and told her [f.]he was a [f.]ensible hu[f.][f]ey. CHAP. VI. _How the whole Pari[f.]h was frightened._ Who does not know Lady Ducklington, or who does not know that [f.]he was buried at this pari[f.]h church? Well, _The Renowned History of Goody Two Shoes_] "See the original manuscript in the Vatican at Rome, and the Cuts by Michael Angelo. Illustrated by the Comments of our great modern Critics. Price Sixpence." Copies of _Goody Two Shoes_ are seldom seen for sale to-day, and many copies are expurgated. The following quaint chapter is the one chosen for excision, because our children must never hear the word ghost. "HOW THE WHOLE PARISH WAS FRIGHTENED "Who does not know Lady Ducklington, or who does not know that she was buried at this parish church? "Well, I never saw so grand a funeral in all my life; but the money they squandered away would have been better laid out in little books for children, or in meat, drink, and clothes for the poor. This is a fine hearse indeed, and the nodding plumes on the horses look very grand; but what end does that answer, otherwise than to display the pride of the living, or the vanity of the dead. Fie upon such folly, say I, and heaven grant that those who want more sense may have it.