"I know I am--I can't help it. That's why. He's the only thing in the entire Universe that I'm really afraid of. I can talk _about_ him without quite getting goosebumps all over me, but the mere thought of actually being with him simply scares me into shivering, quivering fits." "I see ... it might very well work that way, at that. Does Dad know it?" "Yes ... or, that is, he knows that I'm afraid of Mentor, but he doesn't know it the way you do ... it simply doesn't register in true color. Kim can't even conceive of me being either a coward or a cry-baby. And I don't want him to, either, Kit, so please don't tell him, ever." "I won't--he'd fry me to a cinder in my own grease if I did. Frankly, I can't see any part of your self-portrait, either. As a matter of cold fact, you are so obviously neither a coward nor a cry-baby that no refutation of that canard is either necessary or desirable. What you've really got, Mums, is a fixation, and if it can't be removed--" "It can't," she declared flatly. "I've tried that, now and then, ever since before you were born. Whatever it is, it's a permanent installation and it's really deep. I have known all along that Kim didn't give me the whole business--he couldn't--and I've tried again and again to make myself go to Arisia, or at least to call Mentor about it, but I can't do it, Kit--I simply _can't_!" "I understand." Kit nodded. He did understand, now. What she felt was not, in essence and at bottom, fear at all. It was worse than fear, and deeper. It was true revulsion; the basic, fundamental, subconscious, sex-based reaction of an intensely vital human female against a mental monstrosity who had not had a sexual thought for countless thousands of her years. She could neither analyze nor understand her feeling; but it was as immutable, as ineradicable, and as old as the surging tide of life itself. "But there's another way, just as good--probably better, as far as you're concerned. You aren't afraid of me, are you?" "What a _question_! Of course I'm not--Why, do you mean _you_--" Her expressive eyes widened. "You children--especially you--are far beyond us ... as, of course, you should be ... but _can_ you, Kit? _Really?_" * * * * * Kit keyed a part of his mind to an ultra-high level. "I know the techniques, Mentor, but the first question is, should I do it?" "You should. The time has come when it is necessary." "Second--I've never done anything like this before, and she's my own mother. If I make one slip, I'll never forgive myself. Will you stand by and see that I don't slip?" "I will stand by." "I really can, Mums." Kit answered her question with no perceptible pause. "That is, if you are willing to put everything you've got into it. Just letting me into your mind isn't enough. You'll have to sweat blood--you'll think that you've been run through a hammer mill and spread out on a Delgonian torture screen to dry."