The service began and that critical moment after the second lesson was
reached with dreadful celerity. Doctor Parsons, having read a chapter
from the New Testament, which he emerged from the congregation to do,
and which he did ill, though he prided himself upon his elocution,
returned to his seat as the Vicar rose, adjusted his double eyeglasses
and gave out a notice as follows:
"I publish the banns of marriage between William Blee, Bachelor, and
Mary Coomstock, Widow, both of this parish. If any of you know cause, or
just impediment, why these two persons should not be joined together in
holy matrimony, ye are to declare it. This is for the first time of
asking."
There was a momentary pause. Then, nudged by his daughter, who had grown
very pale, Gaffer Lezzard rose. His head shook and he presented the
appearance of a man upon the verge of palsy. He held up his hand,
struggled with his vocal organs and at last exploded these words,
sudden, tremulous, and shrill:
"I deny it an' I defy it! The wummon be mine!"
Mr. Lezzard succumbed instantly after this effort. Indeed, he went down
as though shot through the head. He wagged and gasped and whispered to
his grandson,--
"Wheer's the brandy to?"
Whereupon this boy produced a medicine bottle half full of spirits, and
his grandfather, with shaking fingers, removed the cork and drank the
contents. Meantime the Vicar had begun to speak; but he suffered another
interruption. Billy, tearing himself from the miller's restraining hand,
leapt to his feet, literally shaking with rage. He was dead to his
position, oblivious of every fact save that his banns of marriage had
been forbidden before the assembled Christians of Chagford. He had
waited to find a wife until he was sixty years old--for this!
"You--_you_ to do it! You to get up afore this rally o' gentlefolks an'
forbid my holy banns, you wrinkled, crinkled, baggering auld lizard!
Gormed if I doan't wring your--"
"Silence in the house of God!" thundered Mr. Shorto-Champernowne, with
tones so resonant that they woke rafter echoes the organ itself had
never roused. "Silence, and cease this sacrilegious brawling, or the
consequences will be unutterably serious! Let those involved," he
concluded more calmly, "appear before me in the vestry after divine
service is at an end."
Having frowned, in a very tragic manner, both on Mr. Blee and Mr.
Lezzard, the Vicar proceeded with the service; but though Gaffer
remained in his place Billy did not. He rose, jammed on his hat, glared
at everybody, and assumed an expression curiously similar to that of a
stone demon which grinned from the groining of two arches immediately
above him. He then departed, growling to himself and shaking his fists,
in another awful silence; for the Vicar ceased when he rose, and not
until Billy disappeared and his footfall was heard no more did the angry
clergyman proceed.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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