She was fully determined to conceal her cherished secret still; yet not
for the superficial reason that had occurred to any mind. Vast mental
alterations had transformed Chris Blanchard since the death of Clement.
Her family she scarcely considered now; no power of logic would have
convinced her that she had wronged them or darkened their fame. In the
past, indeed, not the least motive of her flight had centred in the fear
of Will; but now she feared nobody, and her own misfortune held no
shadow of sin or shame for her, looking back upon it. Those who would
have denied themselves her society or friendship upon this knowledge it
would have given her no pang to lose. She could feel fiercely still, as
she looked back to the birth of her son and traced the long course of
her sufferings; and she yet experienced occasional thrills of
satisfaction in her weaker moments, when she lowered the mask and
reflected, not without pride, on the strength and determination that had
enabled her to keep her secret. But to reveal the truth now was a
prospect altogether hateful in the eyes of Chris, and she knew the
reason. More than once had she been upon the brink of disclosure, since
recent unhappy suspicions had darkened Phoebe's life; but she had
postponed the necessary step again and again, at one thought. Her
fortitude, her apathy, her stoic indifference, broke down and left her
all woman before one necessity of confession; her heart stood still when
she remembered that Martin Grimbal must know and judge. His verdict she
did, indeed, dread with all her soul, and his only; for him she had
grown to love, and the thought of his respect and regard was precious to
her. Everybody must know, everybody or nobody. For long she could
conceive of no action clearing Will in the eyes of the wider circle who
would not be content to take his word, and yet leaving herself
uninvolved. Then the solution came. She would depart once more with the
child. Such a flight was implicit confession, and could not be
misunderstood. Martin must, indeed, know, but she would never see him
after he knew. To face him after the truth had reached his ear seemed to
Chris a circumstance too terrible to dwell upon. Her action, of course,
would proclaim the parentage of Timothy, and free Will from further
slanderings; while for herself, through tears she saw the kind faces of
the gypsy people and her life henceforth devoted to her little one.
To accentuate the significance of the act she determined to carry out
her intention that same day, and during the afternoon opportunity
offered. Her son, playing alone in the farmyard, came readily enough for
a walk, and before three o'clock they had set out. The boy's face was
badly scratched from his morning battle, but pain had ceased, and his
injuries only served as an object of great interest to Timothy. Where
water in ditch or puddle made a looking-glass he would stop to survey
himself.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account