"Pan Stanislav is not indifferent to me; thou art right. Everything
which in me could be sympathy for him has turned to dislike; and hear,
Emilka, what I will tell thee. If I had to choose between those two
men, I should choose Mashko without hesitation."
Pani Emilia dropped her head; after a while Marynia's arms were around
her neck.
"What suffering for me, that I cause thee such pain! but I must tell
truth. I know that in the end thou, too, wilt cease to love me, and I
shall be all alone in the world."
And really something like that had begun. The young women parted with
embraces and kisses; but still, when they found themselves far from
each other, both felt that something between them had snapped, and that
their mutual relations would not be so cordial as hitherto.
Pani Emilia hesitated for a number of days whether to repeat Marynia's
words to Pan Stanislav; but he begged her so urgently for the whole
truth that at last she thought it necessary, and that she would better
tell it. When all had been told, he said,--
"I thank you. If Panna Plavitski feels contempt for me, I must endure
it; I cannot, however, endure this,--that I should begin to despise
myself. As it is, I have gone too far. My dear lady, you know that
if I have done her a wrong, I have tried to correct it, and gain her
forgiveness. I do not feel bound to further duties. I shall have
grievous moments; I do not hide that from you. But I have not been an
imbecile, and am not; I shall be able to bring myself to this,--I shall
throw all my feelings for Panna Plavitski through the window, as I
would something not needed in my chamber, I promise that sacredly."
He went home filled with will and energy. It seemed to him that he
could take that feeling and break it as he might break a cane across
his knee. This impulse lasted a number of days. During that time he did
not show himself anywhere, except at his office, where he talked with
Bigiel of business exclusively. He worked from morning till evening and
did not permit himself even to think about Marynia in the daytime.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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