"I mean that there are two kinds of people,--one, of people who never
limit themselves by anything, and arrange their modes of action
according to every circumstance; the other, of people having a certain
system which they hold to with more or less sequence. I belong to the
second. I am accustomed to observe appearances, and, what is more,
accustomed so long that at last it has become a second nature to me.
But, for example, when travelling in time of great heat, a moment may
come on the man who is most _comme il faut_, when he will unbutton not
only his coat, but his shirt; such a moment has come on me, therefore I
unbutton."
"This means?--"
"It means that I am transfixed with astonishment that any man could
fall in love to the death with my betrothed, who is, as thou on a time
didst give me to understand, cold, formal, and as mechanical in words,
thoughts, and movements as if wound up with a key; that is perfectly
true, and I confirm it. I do not wish thee to hold me for a greater
wretch than I am; I do not love her, and my wife will be as formal
as my betrothed. I loved Panna Plavitski, who rejected me. Panna
Kraslavski I take for her property. Call this iniquity, if it suit thee
to do so; I will answer that such iniquity has been committed, or will
be committed, by thousands among those so-called honorable people, to
whom thou art ready to give thy hand. Moreover, life does not flow on
in delight for people thus married, but also not in tragedy; they limp,
but go forward. Later on they are aided by years spent together, which
bring a species of attachment, by children who are born to them; and
they get on in some fashion. Such are most marriages, for the majority
choose to walk on the earth, rather than scale summits. Sometimes
there are even worse marriages: when a woman wishes to fly, and a man
to creep, or _vice versa_, there is no chance for an understanding.
As to me, I have worked like an ox. Coming from a reduced family, I
wished to gain distinction, I confess. If I had consented to remain
an obscure attorney, and acquire merely money, perhaps I should have
unlocked and thrown open to my son the door to light; but I have no
love for my children before they come into the world, hence I wished
not only to have money myself, but to be somebody, to mean something,
to occupy a position, to have such weight as with us it is possible
to have, at least in society. From this it has happened that what the
advocate gained, the great lord expended; position obliges. This is
why I have not money. Struggling of this sort has wearied me. Opening
holes in one place to fill them in another,--for this reason I marry
Panna Kraslavski; who again marries me for the reason that, if I am
not really a great lord, amusing himself in the legal career, I am so
apparently. The match is even; there is no injustice to any one, and
neither has tricked the other, or, if it please thee, we have tricked
each other equally.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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